The day progresses...
Feb. 19th, 2004 12:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lsdiamondWell, I had something of a spiritual experience this morning after my first post, so my outlook on the day is much better now than it was. More on that later.
I also came to a realization this morning. Mom said it a couple of weeks ago, but it didn't truly strike me until today. I have been seeing the world through these dimmed, muted glasses for so long it's been hard to see the bright patches that come up. Depression just does that to a person.
All it took was +Kyle saying 'thank you' for something as trivial as giving him the leaner piece of bacon at breakfast. I then saw a glimmer, and a realization that, while I *have* acknowledged that he is trying to do the things I need him to do, perhaps I have *not* acknowledged the frequency with which he does them. I'm going to spend a few days and really pay attention to what he says and does. I'm willing to accept the fact that I need to make some changes, too, in my attitude and in my outlook. I may even be willing to accept the fact that I didn't do it alone the last time I got out of this pit, and might yet be willing to accept the same help I had before.
I'm also making a conscious effort to smile more today. It's funny, but it really does make one feel better to smile, even if it starts out as rather fake. If you can get someone to smile back, it doubles the effect. In public service, they pay people to smile...why can't I just give it away?
I also came to a realization this morning. Mom said it a couple of weeks ago, but it didn't truly strike me until today. I have been seeing the world through these dimmed, muted glasses for so long it's been hard to see the bright patches that come up. Depression just does that to a person.
All it took was +Kyle saying 'thank you' for something as trivial as giving him the leaner piece of bacon at breakfast. I then saw a glimmer, and a realization that, while I *have* acknowledged that he is trying to do the things I need him to do, perhaps I have *not* acknowledged the frequency with which he does them. I'm going to spend a few days and really pay attention to what he says and does. I'm willing to accept the fact that I need to make some changes, too, in my attitude and in my outlook. I may even be willing to accept the fact that I didn't do it alone the last time I got out of this pit, and might yet be willing to accept the same help I had before.
I'm also making a conscious effort to smile more today. It's funny, but it really does make one feel better to smile, even if it starts out as rather fake. If you can get someone to smile back, it doubles the effect. In public service, they pay people to smile...why can't I just give it away?
