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Saturday was a late-getting-started day. We slept until about 11:00, then called Scooter at work to see if he still wanted to go to the range before VJ's luau. He said sure, so I ran to The Dreaded (Mini) Mart of Wal for ammo while +Kyle got the guns ready.

At the store, a couple of guys probably in their 40s - one of them had a kid around age 10 - were getting fishing supplies or something. I was at the counter rattling off the different ammunition sizes I needed to the clerk, and one of the guys asked if I was going into the military. ^_^ It struck me as funny, but I just smiled and said that no, I was going to the range for some target practice.

Scooter has just moved in with Rick, as the dorms at MSC have been sold to the Chickasaw Nation for some other use, and the new dorms haven't been built yet. Rick lives upstairs at the funeral home in Tish. It's a *very* strange arrangement, but it sounds like a sweet deal - $250 a month, all bills paid! Rick lucked out for sure, and I guess they're splitting the rent now.

Anyway, we got to their apartment around 12:30, and he had basically decided not to go. His car had been overheating after the shortest of drives (like from Rick's to the Shamrock station and back...maybe a mile round-trip.) So he wanted to look at that, and was in rather an unpleasant mood from our conversation the previous evening. He'd been late to work - a first for him - and was just not really in the mood.

+Kyle was pretty distraught over this, as the disagreement & upset was his fault. He kept pushing last night, instead of letting the issue drop, and pushed way too far. We stood around for a little while just talking, and +Kyle apologized for being so paranoid, for not truly forgiving, being so accusatory, and the rest.

The other night we were talking, and he actually gave me credit for being able to think of a scheme to get him to end our marriage on his terms since he wouldn't do it on mine. Something about me being so ready to try to work things out as a way to throw him off guard so I could leave later or something. Short of being annoyed with his paranoia, I was flattered that he thought I was clever enough to come up with something that devious. I'm just not.

After much coercion, and finding that the Corsica was excessively low on water, we finally got Scooter to come with us to VJ's house to make an appearance and then leave at his discretion, as she'd said it was a 'come and go as you please' thing. By now, it was 2:00, so we told him that after we decided to leave, we'd come back by Rick's and see if he felt any better, and we could go to Western Inn or even the range, since it doesn't get dark until late.

So...VJ's luau was a lot of fun. I didn't know who all to expect, but besides the three of us, it was her family. She had the backyard set up with chairs, tables, and an inflatable water slide for the kids who would ostensibly be coming over later to play with Lynze. She also had one of those quick set up pools - the ring around the top is inflatable, and I guess it just fills itself. They're nifty, and work well! They are only just deep enough to swim a very little bit in, but one could get a pretty good whirlpool going if they tried. Oh! Must not forget, she had a slip 'n' slide type thing, too.

We all sat around and chatted about nothing in particular over summer sausage, fruits, veggies and soda. Oh wait, it's Oklahoma, so the word is 'pop'. My bad. ;) Anyway, VJ plans to go low carb, see about joining the reserves (I think?) when she gets her weight down, and I think she mentioned a career, but for the life of me, I can't remember it. I'm so proud of her, and it sounds like she has her plans figured out nicely. Brian seems to be supportive, so that's cool. ^_^

VJ had some cute games, too. One was a deal where you lay this ring on the ground, then try to flip these jellyfish-looking things into the ring. Problem is, they bounce erratically when they hit the ground, so the trick is to get them high enough where they bounce more controllably. We all eventually got the hang of that one. Scooter left after about an hour, which was longer than we'd expected, but he seemed to have an enjoyable time, so we thanked him for letting us kidnap him.

Lynze had played in the pool already, and been out, but wanted back in, so I went in to get changed, and we played for awhile. It was a warm day, and the water was a good temperature - just slightly chilly, but not enough to be unpleasant. We had fun doing that, and when she wanted out, she, VJ and I all played with the slip 'n' slide. I don't remember it hurting that much when I was 10. LOL! It was fun, though. Lynze and I played in the little slide thing, too, but I didn't slide. It had a small pool, so we just sat in it and tried to hook these inflatable rings on the pokey-things in front. It was rather silly, but fun, anyway. Lynze is a trip.

VJ also had two badminton raquets and birdies. Lynze wanted to play that, but she's 5, so she swings wildly most of the time. Eventually, she figured out that she could swing more gently, and then I had a chance of hitting it back to her. We got it going back and forth three or four times, then she got excited and whacked it across the yard. LOL! Ah well. Eventually, one of her swings resulted in the pink birdie landing on the roof, well out of reach.

After more noshing, chatting, and visiting, +Kyle and I left around 4:30.

As promised, we went back up to Rick's to see if Scooter wanted to go out to the range. We really didn't expect him to, but had offered and wanted to make good as this would be the last chance. Surprisingly, he did! So we went and shot for about two hours. He's not comfortable around guns, but did pretty well, considering, and really seemed to enjoy the events. We all tried out +Kyle's sniper rifle, which isn't sighted properly, so none of us hit what we wanted to, or even got very close, but it was still fun. Of the semiautomatic pistols, I can't decide if I like the 1911 or the Taurus better. I didn't shoot the .22 this time, but we all giggled about the toy-like ping it makes when compared to the bigger stuff.

The best part was when we got out the shotgun. +Kyle put a new recoil pad on it, and it is SO nice to shoot now! Before, it would bruise your shoulder because there was no absorption. Now the kick is anything but unpleasant, and of course that BOOM! is satisfying. We all took a shot with it, and then I rounded up some cans and bottles that other people had left, laying them out on the table. (Actually, I had done this earlier to practice with the 9 mil, but I only hit one of them - at the bottom, and it went FLYING up and back about 10-15 feet. That was just funny.

But back to the shotgun! We had those cans and things lined up, and I took the first shot, and caused serious harm to a Gatorade bottle. We all did, and finally we bunched them all up, and Scooter took a shot, and they arced up and back in perfect Hollywood fashion at 10:00, 11:00, 1:00 and 2:00. It wouldn't have been a more beautiful shot if it had been planned. I really wish we'd had video of it.

The containers were long past being useful by this point, the cans shredded, and the bottles even moreso.

It was around 7:00 by this time, and we decided to pack it in and go, sans coffee break, as Scooter was pretty well exhausted. I think he told us later that he crashed around 9:00.

Don't remember much of the rest of the evening. It was probably spent in much talk, and likely some DDR, as well.


Dec. 10th, 2003 05:12 pm
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Shelly was supposed to be here about 40 minutes ago so we could go to karaoke. She's not answering her cell.

Methinks I've been stood up.


Had I known this an hour ago, I'd have made rolls with all the eggs sitting in the fridge...need to use them before they go bad. Sigh. Maybe tomorrow, unless Vera wants to go out.


Nov. 14th, 2003 08:42 am
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Okay, so Lydia and I went out last night. She's highly entertaining, and we get along really well. :)

There's a club in Sherman she wanted to hit called Calhoon's. Thursday is college night, so they do hip-hop and the like instead of their usual country-western theme. It was too early, so we bummed around the mall for about two hours. We went to see what the cover charge was around 8:00, and decided to hit Wal-Mart for an hour or so just because it was something to do.


well...really, Tex-As...

close enough...

Anyway, we got there around 9:00, and sat around watching cowboys play pool, and being beaten by their girlfriends. Things really didn't pick up until about 10:30 or so, and even then, there weren't enough people to even halfway fill the floor.

Some Murray peeps came around midnightish, or possibly earlier; I didn't have a watch on me. Aszra, Kayla & some guy, Emerald, Nancy & her boyfriend, and a couple other guys I recognized were there. Aszra came up and hugged me; she's so sweet. :) I need to call her so we can do something.

It should be noted for posterity's sake that I suck at dancing of all types. First slow dancing, now hip hop. Nonetheless, it was pretty fun, and as always, nice to just be around people. I can see why people drink at these things...have a feeling I would have had a lot more fun had my inhibitions been lowered a notch or two.

I must obtain a copy of the Cha Cha Slide. They played it at the MSC dance. They played it last night also, but we were all sitting, so I just kinda followed the moves in my chair, being that I don't know it anyway.

Poor Lydia wanted to find some guy - any guy - to dance with her, but everyone said they couldn't dance. She's considerably shorter than I am, so that's kinda rough. I have a feeling I cramped her style just a tad, being the only dark, brooding figure in the place. Sigh. I have become my brother.

Oh well. She said she had fun, so we may end up going again sometime. They're having a big to-do the weekend after Thanksgiving, but, now that I think about it, I have a feeling they'll return to their usual country lineup for that.

She left her cell in the truck, and we were leaving when +Kyle called. I'm sure he'd been trying all night, poor thing. :( He was obviously worried, but glad to hear that we were safe and on the way back.

We didn't get back to Madill until 2:00 or so..much much later than I'd anticipated being out, but it was pretty fun, overall.

Game Night

Nov. 11th, 2003 07:18 am
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Went to MSC Game Night last night...twas highly amusing. It seems that +Kyle really gets along with Scooter, who was there. They played Ping Pong (not very well) and Doubles Pool (again, not well, but they won). +Kyle & I played pool after things started to die down...ugh, I suck... >_<

+Kyle's definitely making an effort, and doing a great job. He's being affectionate but not clingy. Yay! ^_^ It's amazing what a little attention can do. I feel better than I have in about as long as I can remember. Not that this is the end of the road already; we have a lot to work on...but I think we're off to a good start.

Scooter has an awesome tat...a black rose with a small pool of blood, one droplet having dripped onto the leaf. It's only about 2 weeks old, so it has that really crisp look. Nice. I found the image (or one very similar, anyway) on Elfwood, so I wonder if that's where he found it.

It was really funny...he tried to convince Joanna that 'Scooter' was in fact his real name, and pulled out his drivers license to prove it. Joanna & I both missed looking at his age, though. He assured us he's "an old fart". :PP He can't be that old.

Found out who does his costumes as well...his mom! He gave me her number, so I'm going to get my sketches together and contact her hopefully some time this week. If I buy everything retail, it's going to be a couple hundred bucks, plus having to build the (optional) wings, and the risk that things never fit me *quite* properly... So maybe she'll have some ideas. I have this swatch of the perfect material...would love it if she can find it for less than $13/yard. Ouch.

bah...almost time for work. >_


Nov. 10th, 2003 04:37 pm
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Just got an email from Lydia... She wants to go to Calhoun's on Thursday, which is college night. It's usually a cowboy club, but she sayyyyyyyyys that Thursdays are pretty good because they play actual *dance* music.

We shall see! This may be my chance to go a little crazy.
lsdiamond: (Default)
Susan's email server apparantly had a problem. She sent the pix yesterday morning - they arrived this morning. >_<

Updated the photo costume-y pix are available!

My apologies for their non-clarity...Mavica cameras are the devil and this one had particularly poor resolution, but I'm just thrilled to have piccies at all.

Two of the new ones are from my volunteerism stint at the Carnival. Melinda is the girl in blue, and Laurie is the lady behind us. Most everyone else was in costume.

In the lineup shot, +Kyle's in the red shirt beside me. Isn't he pretty?

It shouldn't take a genius to figure out who's on the other end of the lineup. ^_^'> His was the best costume there...better even than the gyrating nun.
lsdiamond: (Default)
I've been thriving for two days on an event that, in all probability, meant nothing to the other individual involved.

But it meant something to me.

I'm a flirt...always have been. Anyone who knows me should have figured this out. (I'm really beginning to think that +Kyle hasn't...) It never got me anywhere as a teenager, because my friends were all tall, svelte, and charming. Me? Short...chunky at my best...a joker who "uses too many big words", to give a quote... Self-esteem zero... Needless to say, my friends were stopped by cute guys, asked for their numbers on at least several occasions, and fairly successful at getting males to pay them heed. I wasn't even very cute in comparison to them, and the only thing I was really good for was getting a chuckle out of the guys once they were interested in one of my friends. I pretended like this didn't bother me, and for years denied I had any interest in boys (due to misunderstandings that I now comprehend). In truth, I think I was the worst of the bunch to crush on someone, especially if they were nice to me in any way.

But look at my high school friends now...few of them have healthy, lasting relationships. Not that my marriage is SO healthy, but...I try. We both do, to some degree.

There have been many times when I was actually depressed that the only way I could get a guy was online...they had to know me for me before they found me attractive. Yes, it's so much better to build a relationship on that trust and knowledge...but what's inherently wrong with wanting your crush to notice you, knowing he won't because you're just not that cute? Even after we got married, and +Kyle would beg me to tell him, "I'm pretty," I didn't believe it. I couldn't believe he thought so. Even though he wouldn't lie to me, I never really believed him when he'd say I was beautiful or sexy. It always struck me as that stupid line: "You're a beautiful person" or "You have inner beauty". Maybe I was, but that didn't change what I wanted to be.

So I had to change it myself.

+Kyle...really hasn't supported me in this endeavour of self-improvement. The extent of it has been:

Me: "Do you like me better this way?" (thinner; healthier)
Him: "Well...are you happy?"
Me: "Yes, I really am."
Him: "Then I like you better this way."

Truly, I appreciate that he wants me to be happy, but he comes across as not caring, and at first even made fun of the lifestyle changes I've made. Sometimes he still picks a little bit, but I try not to let it get to me as much.

So here I am, age 24, looking the best I have in my entire life. I did this all for myself, and I enjoy the fruits of it to the fullest. For the first time ever, I *do* feel pretty, and have some small form of self-confidence. I'm still a flirt, only now it has the potential to get me I have to be careful. There are fleeting moments when I wish I were single so I could have a little fun with it.

So we come to Thursday night... This adorable guy floated around all evening, and I found it so very hard not to get myself into serious trouble. I caught him looking at me once or twice even before we ever spoke, and it just felt so good. For all I know, he was thinking how ridiculous I looked in elf ears...but I don't think so. His actions spoke volumes. I can't even describe how I felt.

Joanna asked such a little thing. No, I didn't like the song, but I didn't care, either. She really wanted this, as silly as it was, and I was willing to give it to her. +Kyle wasn't even willing to do it for me, much less a friend.

I wasn't important enough to him to put away his hatred for a stupid genre of music.

I wanted to fulfill a desire for a friend, and another man was willing to fulfill *my* desire. Does it matter what his motives were? No, although I'm curious... It was a chivalrous gesture.

For me, it was the culmination of years of wishing for a guy to look at me, like what he saw, and approach. Whether it was actual physical attraction, or just Scooter being a nice guy doesn't really matter. He made me feel special in a way I'd forgotten wanting.

It hurts that my own husband wouldn't do that for me. Truth be told, if he had, I wouldn't have had that feeling of being would have been merely a nice cuddle to music.

It hurts most that in five minutes, a total stranger did what +Kyle hasn't been able to do in over five years.

I've dreamed about my vampire every night since, and reveled in the memory of his gentle touch every day. I don't confuse the feelings I have for him with love...but they are strong. I want to see him, to really thank him, and then I suppose I must say goodbye. Even if that night *did* mean anything to him, nothing could come of it. I'm not willing to destroy what I have (such as it is at times).
lsdiamond: (Default)
I love Halloween! It's so much fun. This year is great; I feel like I can be myself for the first time in...ever... I change all the time, so this is not reality, but I'm so *into* everything right now.

Of course, we went to the costume dance at MSC tonight. +Kyle & I did our whole medieval theme outfits. He looks SO good in his piratey clothes. I have to admit, I was not too bad, myself, with my fae eartips and makeup. Wow, have I ever said that about myself? I actually felt like I looked *good*.

I'll have to get pictures from Susan.

The dance was pretty pathetic, really... The DJ sucked way, and he played exactly two songs that were any good. The rest were all either bad rap or country. Sigh. There wasn't much of a crowd, either, but I got to socialize a little, so I had fun. May have made a new girlfriend, Lydia. She wants to hit this club called the Legacy in Ada, but doesn't have anyone to go with. There's another club in Sherman she goes to, so we're hoping to do that together sometime. She only has one real friend on campus, and that friend does *not* do the club scene.

I met the most charming fellow tonight; Scooter. He's rather cute, in the geeky way that I fall for. He was a vampire (heartflutter), and an impressive one at that. No cheesy fake fangs; these were the quality ones you get at Hot Topic. His costume was custom made by someone he knows. He had a great walking cane and a fantastic cape. He was really adorable, and I managed to develop a crush rather quickly. :PPP I'm SO bad.

Poor Joanna... She was there with some guy tonight, but I don't think they're *together*. 'You Had Me From Hello' came on, and she begged...BEGGED...for me and +Kyle to dance to it. Her words: "I want to live vicariously through you!!!" She's so funny sometimes. LOL! I wanted to, partially for her, and partially because I've just never slow danced before. Okay, so I don't dance at all. :P But +Kyle *would not* do it, period, the end. I stood up and bugged him, but to no avail...but who should walk up, hand extended, but my vampiric hero. ^_^'''

I told +Kyle that someone else was going to take me away if he wouldn't do this for Joanna, and he just sat back and smiled, so I went with Scooter. He was so very sweet. I said I didn't know how to dance at all, and he said that was quite all right. He put one hand on my waist and took my right hand in his left. He led admirably. It was wonderful.

He asked, "So...he won't dance to this because it's a country song, and he hates country?"

"Yes...well, I despise it too, but I wanted to do this for Joanna. could I resist dancing with a vampire?"

He smiled. "Well, we do have a certain charm." That they certainly do.

The song was surely half over before we even started, but it seemed very long. It was rather romantic. I would have liked it had +Kyle been willing to go, but the alternative was definitely agreeable. I could very easily have gotten close and comfortable, but tried to be good and keep a modest distance for +Kyle's sake.

"What perfume are you wearing?", he asked before the music was over.

"Rose extract."

"It's very nice. I thought you smelled like roses."

+Kyle hadn't said anything about my perfume...I doubted he even noticed. Incidentally, I wore it specifically for him because we got it when he bought me the eternal rose at the Renaissance Faire in Florence a few years ago. It's special, and he didn't even notice. Irk.

About then, the song ended. He stepped back, holding my hand up a bit, and bowed. I fumbled some half-bow/half-curtsey and thanked him as graciously as possible, considering I'm a complete klutz.

^_^''''' *dokidokisuru*

Joanna and the rest of the crew were going to go to a really good haunted house, and we were going to go, but it was closed when we got there, and they had already driven off. I didn't get to say a proper goodbye to Scooter, but I hope to see him again sometime. I'll send a word down the grapevine somehow if nothing else.


Oct. 30th, 2003 05:10 pm
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Got X-Rayed Wednesday afternoon. Nothing broken; just a bad sprain. The doctor gave me some exercises to do, told me to alternate heat and ice, and prescribed an anti-inflammatory. She said to start putting weight on it as soon as possible, to keep it from being weak.

I've been pretty good, and have been gradually gaining movement throughout the day. I started out using both crutches to gingerly put weight on the foot. Later I just used one crutch. By 5:00, I'm able to limp fairly well without needing either of them.

I should be able to stand or maybe even dance tonight after all. There's a costume dance at MSC that +Kyle and I have been excited about for weeks now. I was worried that my foot would be broken, but it looks like things will be okay. :)
lsdiamond: (Default)
Last night was fun. We attended the semiannual fish fry hosted by one of +Kyle's instructors. There's always a good crowd, because the chef is fabulous. He catches all the fish himself (out of the muddiest river here: the Washita), and they're the best tasting cat you ever had. Mmmmm.... :) Of course, he cooks it all, in whatever his special seasonings are. Everyone brings something - chips, cookies, soda, what have you. It's a good time.

Roger & his new girl were there. He's been ill. I like the girlfriend, although I can't remember her name to save my life. :PP Ah well.

Then there's Jeff. No one really likes Jeff, because he's, well, full of himself, likes to hear himself talk, and has done everything you have, only bigger and better. *shrug* That's just who he is. Still, I decided last night that once and for all, I like Jeff no matter what. He's good for my self-esteem. Right off the bat when we arrived, he said he really liked this "goth" look on me. He dotes on my hair every time we see him, and wishes aloud that his would grow as long as mine. :PPP He always kisses my hand before +Kyle & I leave. Jeff fancies himself this renaissance lover - a true romantic. I really don't see it, but anyone who wants to lavish that kind of attention on *me* is more than welcome to do so. LOL! No one (except family, and they don't count in this case) has ever been affectionate with me, so I revel in it the 3 or 4 times a year it comes around. :)

+Kyle hasn't said anything about it, so I don't think it bothers him. I don't exactly go around saying how wonderful his friends from school are; nor does he, for that matter. *grin* Yeah, Jeff's shown his hiney more than once (well - they ALL have, really), but this little silliness that goes on... I like it. Truth be told, if I ever found out he *meant* anything by it, I'd probably be too repulsed to even go on. He's kinda creepy about it...but he seems to think he's being chivalrous, so I enjoy it for what it seems to be.

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