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In response to some recent replies...
Jul. 17th, 2003 02:57 pmCougie,
Why would I be upset with you for not writing? It's not like I've been the pinnacle of friendly emails, either, lately. LOL! It's all good, sister. I love you! Write and tell me what all has been going on lately. Boy have we had a doozy of a summer...
~~~
Brian,
First off, did you get my email? I really didn't know what to say. How are you doing? *big hug*
As for your reply, I think there's something to what you're saying, big bro... Well, I know it. The smallest negative statement or action affects me with sometimes devastating results. Some would say I just overreact way too much to criticism. Truth be told, I probably do, but that doesn't change the fact my reaction stems from a true feeling of worthlessness when faced with such a statement or action.
I've been going pretty slowly through "Self Matters", trying to absorb as much as possible. Right now I'm still working on the 10 memories/events list, and have already noticed a disturbing pattern, starting from some of my earliest memories. At least I am beginning to understand the why behind my reactions in these situations of 'rejection'.
I hate victimization; the whole "I'm a victim, I deserve _____." mindset just makes me ill. So, I'm glad to have this new knowledge and potential self-empowerment. Thank you for sharing it with me! I just wish there was a fast and easy way to do it. :PP It's not so much unwillingness to work through it - it's knowing that however long it takes me to get to that point is that much longer I'm going to be this shell of my 'authentic self'. I have been this way for years, and I don't want to waste any more time.
~~~
In other general news, the working out thing is going well. I'm already up to benching over half my body weight...still nowhere near where I was 6 years ago, but my muscles are remembering a lot more quickly than I thought they would. They say for every year you have stopped working out, it'll take you one month to get back to where you were when you quit. That's probably about the rate I'm going, but it seems unusually quick. :) It doesn't hurt that I have been consistently going three days a week instead of only two. I can already see some definition forming.
Why would I be upset with you for not writing? It's not like I've been the pinnacle of friendly emails, either, lately. LOL! It's all good, sister. I love you! Write and tell me what all has been going on lately. Boy have we had a doozy of a summer...
~~~
Brian,
First off, did you get my email? I really didn't know what to say. How are you doing? *big hug*
As for your reply, I think there's something to what you're saying, big bro... Well, I know it. The smallest negative statement or action affects me with sometimes devastating results. Some would say I just overreact way too much to criticism. Truth be told, I probably do, but that doesn't change the fact my reaction stems from a true feeling of worthlessness when faced with such a statement or action.
I've been going pretty slowly through "Self Matters", trying to absorb as much as possible. Right now I'm still working on the 10 memories/events list, and have already noticed a disturbing pattern, starting from some of my earliest memories. At least I am beginning to understand the why behind my reactions in these situations of 'rejection'.
I hate victimization; the whole "I'm a victim, I deserve _____." mindset just makes me ill. So, I'm glad to have this new knowledge and potential self-empowerment. Thank you for sharing it with me! I just wish there was a fast and easy way to do it. :PP It's not so much unwillingness to work through it - it's knowing that however long it takes me to get to that point is that much longer I'm going to be this shell of my 'authentic self'. I have been this way for years, and I don't want to waste any more time.
~~~
In other general news, the working out thing is going well. I'm already up to benching over half my body weight...still nowhere near where I was 6 years ago, but my muscles are remembering a lot more quickly than I thought they would. They say for every year you have stopped working out, it'll take you one month to get back to where you were when you quit. That's probably about the rate I'm going, but it seems unusually quick. :) It doesn't hurt that I have been consistently going three days a week instead of only two. I can already see some definition forming.
