Perhaps not

[lsdiamond]

Or maybe I'm just "hearing what I want to hear". Typical. So much for communicating better.

Apparantly he's just going to learn to put up with talking to me about my goth stuff...not actually agree with my offer of compromise in letting me do it on occasion.

And I am absolutely forbidden from speaking to a friend...forever. No questions asked. No goodbyes.

I'm going back to bed.

Comments

[sternenglanz.livejournal.com]

Sweetie... *sigh* From my point of view, it's your body. Your friends. You're not seven years old, and he's not your daddy; he doesn't get to forbid things.

If I were there, I would be very tempted to punch him in the neck.

To be honest, is it really worth being with someone who wants to control your behavior and gives you so much misery? At the very least, you both need to find someone to talk to about your relationship.


~Sternie, worriedly

[jabberkyle.livejournal.com]

Your point of view is skewed and colored only by what she has told you. Not a single one of her friends has ever contacted me to see what I think of the issue, yet you pass judgment and automatically side with her because she's your friend.

This isn't high school, and I'm tired of all her little groupies mouthing off without knowing the whole story, so here's a snippet for you.

Her body is mine, and my body is hers. Read 1 Corinthians 7:4.

This is speaking in a sexual context, but the implication goes much further. Respecting each other includes things outside of the bedroom. Do you think I should stand by and keep my mouth shut if she decided she wanted to get into heavy drugs? This is the same thing. This relationship that I am breaking off is malignant, and needs to be broken off. Yeah, it hurts, but it is being done in the best interest of my wife, and my marriage.

So, I have forbidden her from speaking to the "friend" in Oklahoma. Did you ever stop and wonder why I would do something like that? For the past three or four months, she has been romantically involved with him, and starting at about two months ago, she'd promise me on almost a weekly basis that it's over, and guess what! It's never been over. She keeps going back to him again and again.

You're obviously a worldly person, and it seems to me that the sanctity of marriage is unimportant to you, but you need to understand that the only reason I forbade her from speaking to her "friend" is because that relationship is endangering our marriage. In order to preserve the marriage, I'm cutting out the cancer. When you have a brain tumor, you don't make deals with it, "let's just be friends," and go on about your happy life. You do, and you die.

I am not a perfect person, but I strive to be. As such, I rule my house to the best of my ability. Read 1 Timothy 3:4, 5.

As I said, you are worldly, and your deviant influence on my wife is not appreciated. But I think my wife can cut through the crap that you and her other nonChristian friends shovel up, so I have not forbidden her from talking to you, holding this journal, having feedback and whatnot. I do not believe that she is capable of separating friendship from emotional, romantic involvement with the "friend" back in Oklahoma.

The fact that you would raise a hand against me is indicative of the fact that you have absolutely no respect for my authority, nor do you have any respect for what I am trying to accomplish. You are too tied up in what you want, and are encouraging my wife to act as you would because you see me as a tyrannical husband because my wife has not told you my side of the story, and because you do not have the same values that we, or at least I, have.

I will go to the length of cutting my wife off from such abominable individuals such as the "friend" in Oklahoma when such relationships pose a threat to our marriage or our righteousness.

Your parents did not chastise you because they liked holding dominion over you, or at least if they did, you had worthless parents. A parent, and likewise God, and likewise a husband or wife, corrects the ones they love out of love, and out of a desire to keep them from harm and evil influences. You see me as wanting to control my wife's behaviour, you see such a distinction between a wife and a husband, even though God says "the two shall become one" and because of your perspective and ignorance of the full scope of the situation, you have spoken out of turn.

You were right about one thing, though... we need marriage counseling, and we have had some in the past. As soon as our schedules become routine, we will again. Frankly, though, you are not suited to counsel anyone on their marriage, so I would request that you refrain from doing so in the future, especially with my wife.

==========

Quite a few of my wife's friends have done this, and at least a few have voiced their desire to speak with me. She has linked to my blog and my webpage, yet none of you have contacted me. I have an account on livejournal now, so if anyone wants to get in touch with me, here I am. You've made potshots at me before, but if you want to say something to me, say it to my face.

To Kyle

[sternenglanz.livejournal.com]

I wrote this in her LJ because she is my friend, and I wanted to send her some love and advice. It's true that I don't know you well and you know me even less well, which is why I didn't contact you. I was concerned because my friend was upset.

I'll send you an email soon and we can discuss our perspectives of what's going on. Hopefully you will soon find time to speak with a counselor both together and separately; I did not mean to imply that I was up to the task of a professional, but neither am I completely unsuited to listen to people's feelings and share my opinions with them.

[lsdiamond.livejournal.com]

"It" *is* and has been over, whether or not you care to see it. Regardless of what you say, I have not been "going back to him over and over". Yeah, we've talked few times since we moved, and conversation has been limited. Anime. Car trouble. Work. School. I told you I needed to separate myself from those emotions toward him, and I've done that. Problem solved.

Oh wait, you don't believe I'm capable of that. Nevermind. For some reason I have been under the impression that you can do anything you set your mind to, as long as it doesn't interfere with the laws of physics. But since you don't believe that, I guess that's not possible.

Just because you and I are not yet where we need to be is no reason for you to keep going back to what this *was* about and continue to punish me jusu because *you're* still not happy with our progress. Move on, unless you're really enjoying holding onto the past so much that you're willing to make this process take even longer. You want me in love with you *now*, but this certainly isn't helping us reach that goal.