Rebirth?

So I brought up my idea to +Kyle yesterday. He doesn't seem too keen on it, but then I didn't really fully explain it, I guess.

Neither of us is really happy. I just haven't been, and he's not because I'm not.

So what if we start over?

He can take the truck and leave on the 5th like he's dying to do. If he's already got a job lined up, great. All he has to do is find a place for us to live. Set up a household. I'll stay here and keep working for another week or so...however long it takes him.

Obviously, we'd stay in touch during this time. We could email and ICQ, or talk on the phone. Maybe we can learn to communicate again, maybe even better than before.

He wants me to rely on him and depend on him. I see this idea as a way to make that possible. I don't have especially romantic feelings for him, but I do love him...agape...I want the best for him. I've stayed with him because I love him. I've tried this whole time to be the wife he needs and wants. I know it's not enough, especially now that he hates pretty much everything I do. YET, he wants me to change nearly everything about who I am, so he can be happy with me, and still want me to be happy.

Maybe I should just have him tell me what to do. What I can wear, what I can't. What I can say, what I can't. Where I can go, where I can't. Who I can talk to, who I can't. Just let him dictate every aspect of my life. It's his, anyway, as he likes to remind me every so often.

Mostly he just got upset because we had already talked about not separating. But I don't see that it's necessarily a bad thing, if it can be a rebirth.

The Passion

Just got back from seeing 'The Passion of the Christ' with +Kyle & Scooter.

I can't talk about it right now.

Saturday

So after a morning of not a lot going on, we went over to Nancy & Jim's house. We got me fitted for the practice clothes, which took several tries. Geesh, my hips are way bigger than I thought they were. Granted, we're trying everything on over clothes, but still...

( notes on water & sodium )

But anyway... We didn't do much; just sat around and chatted with Scooter inbetween him cutting out leather for his moccassins, and Nancy measuring me, pinning me, etc. They are or were pretty big fans of Stargate SG-1. ^_^ We all told stories about people driving off from gas pumps, either taking part of the pump with them, or running off without paying. Those were an amusing several minutes.

Jim was watching a film called Do Not Disturb. It wasn't as bad as 'Wacked', but it was pretty not good. Cheese! Steel came on after that, but by then, the three of us has decided to go to Sherman for Chinese and The Passion, so we got ready and left around 5:00 so we could stop by the house and feed the mutt. She really likes Scooter, and wanted to play. He seemed to like her, too.

The drive was pleasant; there's a nicer route down 377 to 82, and it only goes through one town, rather than having to stop in Kingston, Mead, Durant, etc., etc. Pity we never knew about it until now. That was probably our last trip to Sherman.

We talked at large about the MedFaire next weekend. It's going to be fabulous. We're going to meet at Denny's in Ardmore around 6:00, and have breakfast, then follow him up to Norman in time for things to get started around 10:00. After that, we're going to see Hellboy, about which we're all very excited.

Got to Sherman around 6:00 and had a lovely dinner at China Star. We just talked about random stuff, mostly. It turns out that the infamous Wild Child (a gunsmithing student of four years prior) is very likely the brother of one of Scooter's friends, and was quite as infamous in the dorms as in the class. +Kyle got to tell the 50 calibre hammer-gun story... S is pretty sure it's the same guy - he said it sounds like something he would do. LOL!

After dinner, we still had the option of killing 40 minutes, so we bummed around the mall a bit. I am now officially a fag hag, as the two of them started doing this gay thing back and forth. *shudder* It wouldn't be so bad if they weren't so good at it. Neither one had heard this term before, so that was pretty funny.

We looked at some good games at FX, but didn't have time for much else. One RPG I am reallllly interested in trying is Shadow Hearts. There were a bunch of others we oohed and aahed over, but I can't remember them, and of course didn't bring anything to write down titles. :P

Excellent previews, including Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. That one looks AWESOME. Dad is so going to love it. Would have liked to see the trailers for Troy and Van Helsing again, but we got Spiderman 2 and a couple others we've already seen. Azkaban is slated to come out in June, so I'm really surprised there wasn't anything about that yet.

So... The Passion...( Cut )