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lsdiamondSo I brought up my idea to +Kyle yesterday. He doesn't seem too keen on it, but then I didn't really fully explain it, I guess.
Neither of us is really happy. I just haven't been, and he's not because I'm not.
So what if we start over?
He can take the truck and leave on the 5th like he's dying to do. If he's already got a job lined up, great. All he has to do is find a place for us to live. Set up a household. I'll stay here and keep working for another week or so...however long it takes him.
Obviously, we'd stay in touch during this time. We could email and ICQ, or talk on the phone. Maybe we can learn to communicate again, maybe even better than before.
He wants me to rely on him and depend on him. I see this idea as a way to make that possible. I don't have especially romantic feelings for him, but I do love him...agape...I want the best for him. I've stayed with him because I love him. I've tried this whole time to be the wife he needs and wants. I know it's not enough, especially now that he hates pretty much everything I do. YET, he wants me to change nearly everything about who I am, so he can be happy with me, and still want me to be happy.
Maybe I should just have him tell me what to do. What I can wear, what I can't. What I can say, what I can't. Where I can go, where I can't. Who I can talk to, who I can't. Just let him dictate every aspect of my life. It's his, anyway, as he likes to remind me every so often.
Mostly he just got upset because we had already talked about not separating. But I don't see that it's necessarily a bad thing, if it can be a rebirth.
Neither of us is really happy. I just haven't been, and he's not because I'm not.
So what if we start over?
He can take the truck and leave on the 5th like he's dying to do. If he's already got a job lined up, great. All he has to do is find a place for us to live. Set up a household. I'll stay here and keep working for another week or so...however long it takes him.
Obviously, we'd stay in touch during this time. We could email and ICQ, or talk on the phone. Maybe we can learn to communicate again, maybe even better than before.
He wants me to rely on him and depend on him. I see this idea as a way to make that possible. I don't have especially romantic feelings for him, but I do love him...agape...I want the best for him. I've stayed with him because I love him. I've tried this whole time to be the wife he needs and wants. I know it's not enough, especially now that he hates pretty much everything I do. YET, he wants me to change nearly everything about who I am, so he can be happy with me, and still want me to be happy.
Maybe I should just have him tell me what to do. What I can wear, what I can't. What I can say, what I can't. Where I can go, where I can't. Who I can talk to, who I can't. Just let him dictate every aspect of my life. It's his, anyway, as he likes to remind me every so often.
Mostly he just got upset because we had already talked about not separating. But I don't see that it's necessarily a bad thing, if it can be a rebirth.
