Because HaloScan won't let me post more than 1000 characters...

In reply to my brother's recent post, "Confustication"

Okay... I don't know how much of this will have any bearing on your current mental state, but I'm compelled to say it, even understanding your tone. ^_^

Such introspection will take you one of two places...toward your "calling", if you have one, and I think most people (or at least Christians) do...or toward utter despair for dwelling on your failings.

All you have to do is decide which path to take with it, kiddo. I tried one road, and it didn't work. Actually, it led me to a bend where I had another chance to get back on the other road. It's kinda cool, although right now I'm on this "Okay, so now what do I do?" kick.

I guess my point is that if you never truly give up, you'll always have a chance...at whatever your hand finds to do. Not only that, but if you seek *God's* purpose in what you do, you're guaranteed to, if not find it, at least fulfill it.

Take this from someone who admires you, too. I look at myself - age 24 - and how little I have accomplished, or even *tried* to accomplish with my life. I think to myself that you have no right to be so down on yourself, because you're right: not everyone does or at least *tries* to do many of the things you do and have done...at six years younger than I, no less.

Whether I use that as incentive to push myself, or let myself get down in the dumps over it is up to me. You've got the same choice, li'l bro. And as far as hating yourself? That's what the blood is for...tell yourself (or whoever it is who is attacking you) that yes, you're hypocritical and sinful...but that you're forgiven and cleansed, so no one has ANY claim to you for past wrongs, or even mere stupidities. In that, (I believe) that you do have no right to berate yourself, even in the name of logic.

In the name of being the elder sibling, and since Brian did it to me, I now challenge you to come up with a list of reasons why you think people like you. It could even just be a list of positive adjectives, no commentary needed (although that's not likely with you, ;). Comments off that list if you have that option.

I love you.

- A

My Sacrifice

As I was writing that reply to my brother, I wondered at a reason behind SI.

Blood.

Now, I've never been one to cut for the blood. It's always been more about pain than anything else, and besides: blood is messy, and if it gets on anything that will stain, it's hard to remove. But I have known many people who cut specifically *for* the blood. It makes me wonder if perhaps for some. it doesn't go back to some ancient and ritualistic need for cleansing. Mankind has always had need of some way to atone for the wrongs they've done, and it's always been in the form of some sacrifice or another, but more often than not, blood is the key point of freshness. How many people get that little reference? It was silly to throw it in, but ehh...so am I.

Blood and death. Something or someone must eventually bleed and/or die for the wrongs committed. I'm sure there are some cultures in which large sums of money, or a goat, or whatever will also make up for wrong deeds. Heck, 'modern civilization' has brought us the wonderful legal and prison system, where, for a mere few years of your life, you can get away with theft, murder, and even such abominations as molestation of children. Oops, did I say 'get away with'? Oh yeah...I meant 'pay their debt to society'.

< /puts away soapbox before she runs the risk of being late for work' >

ANYWAY...

I don't remember quite where I was going with this now...I skip topics so frequently, I really need to start making an outline of my thoughts. :P I think I was trying to say that some people who perhaps believe blood to be necessary to pay for their wrongs are the people who need to see that the blood they desire has already *been* shed.

Give me a head with hair...

My hair is freaking awesome today.

I left the shampoo and conditioner in for about 10 minutes whilst shaving my legs (weather is warming up BEAUTIFULLY...shorts weather!) last night, and wow...the difference is absolutely incredible.

In other news, I have had some interesting dreams this week, and my recall is pretty good the past few days. I remembered three out of four from this morning...not bad! Still have to post them, though.

Went to the courthouse to drop off published legal notices and took some pictures of acquaintances, as well as some of the actual courthouse, just because it's neat looking. Went to the bank, but neither Billie nor Juany was around, so I will have to go back tomorrow and hope they're available for pix. Went to the post office and got one of Patti and the other girl who sometimes works at the front desk. Got some pictures of things around the square, too: The Little Law Firm office building, because it's just gorgeous architecture, and this horrendous piece of graffiti on the side of Gorrell's Martial Arts' building. It's two people in karate uniform, but the proportions are dreadful, and the images rather scary. It's just ugly, but I've been meaning to get pictures ever since we MOVED here, so I hope they come out.

Almost used up one of the instant cams, doing so. Will need to take another one around, perhaps this weekend.

I want my MP3!

Question!

Any of you guys know a good (free or demo) MP3 editor program that will let me bring down the quality just a touch? I've got some at 320, but would like to bring them down to 256 or even 192 just for the sake of filesize.

I've found a bazillion *potential* programs on CNet, but I don't feel like downloading them, trying them, finding they're not what I need, and going through all that rigamarole. (I actually had to look that word up to make sure I spelled it correctly...how embarassing, although I did have it spelled correctly on the first go.)

If I were... Stolen from delphinbella

If I were a stone, I would be : Diamond
If I were a tree, I would be : Weeping Willow
If I were a bird, I would be : Whipporwill
If I were a machine, I would be: Jukebox
If I were a tool, I would be : Duct Tape
If I were a flower/plant, I would be : Black Rose
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: Sunny day with just enough clouds
If I were a mythical creature, I would be : Pixie or Mermaid
If I were a musical instrument, I would be : Synth
If I were an animal, I would be a : Lion
If I were a color, I would be : Blue
If I were an emotion, I would be : Empathy
If I were a vegetable, I would be : ...something everyone likes in some form or another?
If I were a sound, I would be : Nyoooo!
If I were an element, I would be : Water
If I were a car, I would be : Mustang
If I were a movie, I would be : The Good Girl
If I were a food, I would be : MEAT!
If I were a place, I would be : Somewhere people don't seem to get tired of visiting
If I were a material, I would be : Black Velveteen
If I were a taste, I would be : Delicious
If I were a scent, I would be : Roses
If I were a religion, I would be : Something stubborn
If I were a word, I would be : Eccentric
If I were an object, I would be : A Canvas
If I were a body part I would be : Hands
If I were a facial expression I would be : ^_^
If I were a subject in school I would be : Cliff's Notes. LOL
If I were a cartoon character I would be : Angela Anaconda!
If I were a shape I would be a : Diamond
If I were a number I would be : 27
If I were a month I would be : October
If I were a day of the week I�d be : Thursday
If I were a time of day I�d be : Midnight
If I were a planet I would be : Mars
If I were a direction I would be : East
If I were a piece of furniture I�d be an : Anglepoise Lamp
If I were a sin I would be : Sloth
If I were a song I would be : About fifty-eleven-dozen different songs at once
If I were a weed I would be a : Dandelion
If I were a horse I would be a : Shetland Pony
If I were a Disney movie I would be : The Little Mermaid
If I were a Disney character I would be : Ariel
If I were a type of medicine I would be : Aspirin
If I were a type of gas I would be : Nitrous Oxide
If I were a type of doctor I would be a : Heart doctor
If I were a form of writing I would be : Fantasy
If I were a form of art I would be : Impressionism

WAI!

Went to Nancy's house to meet her and give her the pattern and get an idea of what I need to get from Hobby Lobby this weekend to make this happen. She is incredibly nice, and I think it's going to be really easy to work with her. She thinks the 4-way stretch would be better than the 2-way, for comfort's sake, if nothing else.

She did show me the dragon wings she'd done for her granddaughter, and they're very close to what I'd like to do, though mine would need to move. I don't think there will be time or resources to do them, but maybe. She thinks it will only take 2-3 visits, giving about a week inbetween each one. Very cool.

I'll be bringing her some el-cheapo fabric to do the initial fittings with on Sunday afternoon, as well as the thread, zipper, eyelets, etc. +Kyle has also been invited to come with me and we can stay and play pool or something.

She has a gorgeous water garden. I'm going to take the camera next time. ^_^

Scooter was there, which surprised me, since he usually works in the evenings. We didn't talk much: he was watching TV or something, but he seemed in good spirits, although he's bored out of his mind with no internet access. LOL Poor kid. I'm no less an addict, so I can't talk.

Mental note: I do need to either take in the silk pants from Halloween, or find some tights or capris for Med Faire since it's in two weeks. Either that or make a black skirt to go with the burgundy shirt, but I'm betting the weather will be too warm for that one.

I also need to dig out the cloak pattern, get some black velveteen, and do that so it will be ready for the finished product.

I also need to STAY on the right track of working out so that I can actually WEAR this thing when it's finished. As I've said...PVC isn't that forgiving.

Went out to Marsha's afterwards to look at her system as promised. There was so much utter junk loading when she booted up that it took nearly 10 minutes just to start. We're talking Weatherbug, GAIN products, etc. Messy messy stuff. So I cleaned that up, and then we looked at her internet connection. I'm of the opinion that it's just so bleeding slow because she lives out in the middle of NOWHERE (Enos). It's also possible that the phone lines out there are just about shot. If they're still running copper wire out there (and I bet they are, since they were only just starting to switch to fiber optic cable when we left Athens two years ago), that certainly wouldn't help, especially if it's in bad condition.

Listen to me: I sound like I know what I'm talking about! (Actually, this is all just hypothetical, but it makes sense to me. I could be totally off base here.)

Anyway...tomorrow's FRIDAY, finally, and it's going to be SO boring at work. But I'll get the PVC ordered ASAP, and it should be here within a week.

Ah well. It's late, and I'm not really tired, but my eyes are dry, so I guess it's about bedtime.