cancergiggles

This man amazes me.

I've long come to grips with the fact that cancer is probably going to be the way I go, unless I die in a car accident first. Both of my maternal grandparents suffered from this ungodly disease. Also, in addition to people being strangely attracted to me, so too are many mechanized vehicles - even when I am inside another one, they seem to sense my presence and come straight for me.. ^_~ I told you everybody loves LSD!

On a more serious note, I don't remember much about my grandmother's situation back then; I was 10 or 11, and didn't really understand...or maybe I just didn't want to. I knew she was sick - dying - and in a lot of pain, because she had headaches all the time. We spent a lot of time at her house, but mostly it was just us kids in the back room, working (halfheartedly) on schoolwork, and watching Nickelodeon or Disney.

Papa was amazing, though. He was so positive right up to the very end. I didn't see him much, due to work and starting a new life with +Kyle. It's one of my larger regrets, but you can never go back, so I just have to look forward to seeing him again Later.

I hope I have half the ability of this "cancergiggles" man to look at a bad situation and see good - even if it's just in the form of a joke. He's in my prayers, for certain.

Billie is just a doll

I went in to deposit my paycheck this morning, peppier than I have been of late. As we chatted, she said, "You know, your name just suits you so well."

"Really? Why's that?"

"Because you're just like a little mermaid." She laughed, "But I bet you've heard that before."

I laughed, too. "Yep; it always used to bug me when I was a kid, because I came before she did..but really, I wanted to be her."

I had to fill out the deposit slip since I had run out of pre-printed ones, so we had some time.

"Well, we're down to 54 days," I said.

"Counting them down, are we?"

"Yep. Well, we have been ever since it was 120 days, but when +Kyle said it was down to 59 the other day, it really struck me. I've got to go around town and get pictures of everyone & everything."

She laughed and told me to make sure to write everyone's name on them so I wouldn't forget.

"I couldn't forget everyone I've met here. You know, we've said ever since we moved here that we'd never be back, but I'm beginning to think that maybe 'never' is too long."

"Yeah, you'll have to come back and visit sometime." She has this perpetual ^_^ on her face.

"Maybe for the Sand Bass Festival sometime - everyone will be there, we wouldn't have to look for anyone."

"Yup! Just sit on the corner and wave as they pass by...just like the little mermaid." We both laughed, and she got my customary roll of quarters...laundry...always laundry...

I'm gonna miss her cheerfulness on Fridays.

Call me a cab...

For as long as I can remember, I've wondered at the idea of being "called" by God to do something. I always wondered what that would be like, if there were even such a thing, and, if so, what *my* "calling" was.

I think I found it...or maybe I just finally realized it. It's the simplest thing in the world, which is probably why I overlooked it: to love. In fact, this is so simple, I think I stumbled over it once before and couldn't believe it.

I've lately come to the conclusion that I'm really only good at one thing, and that's just being there when someone needs a friend. Whether they need to rant, or cry, or just want a hug or a quick rub of the shoulders 'cause they're stressed out...I can do those things. I have ears, shoulders, arms, and hands. Add a silent prayer to those things, and a simple act of kindness becomes something much more powerful and important. I really try to avoid giving advice, but I'll even do that if someone asks, and I feel compelled.

Granted, I realize and understand that I am really not that GREAT of a friend, because I tend to fall off the face of the earth when I perceive that hurt is approaching...but that's something else I'm learning to let go of as well. I tend to be careless and forgetful, but I am making an effort to be who and what I really need to be...a good and faithful servant.

I suppose something else builds on that: teaching others to love...but you have to show them how first.