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I don't know what it is....I've just been so depressed this week. Maybe it's just hormones. I haven't had a period since before Christmas, so God only knows what kind of hormonal buildup has happened. It's worth it not to have to put up with the problems every single month, but man...
+Kyle told me tonight, "You're beautiful, you know that?" I never know what to say when he says something like that. I know what he wants me to say ("I know"), but how can I when I don't believe it myself? Sometimes I do just to humour him, but tonight I said "I must be, I guess." He really seemed upset over that and made me give him the answer he wanted anyway.
The whole interchange just depressed me more. I'm one of those people who, when someone says "you're a beautiful person", they mean "you're beautiful on the inside". I don't kid myself...I know I'm not much to look at, and even when I do get my weight down where it needs to be, I'm not going to be supermodel material. But is it wrong for me to wish that I had what it takes for people to notice me? I'd never act on a come-on or have an affair or anything, but just once I'd love to know what it feels like to have some cute guy at the mall do a double-take when I walk by.
Just once.
I really should be happy, you know. I should be thankful that I have a great husband who thinks I'm really all that - and I am thankful...I just wish I could live up to that belief, you know what I mean? I really don't deserve to have wound up with such a great guy.
So I guess that's enough pity-partying. The year's a quarter over, and I need some goals. I cleaned my desk off (mostly) Saturday, and found the fakie Points Finder I bought....3 months ago. I made a printable chart that I can fill out daily so I can keep up with the points of what I eat. I'm going to follow this for one month. If IceFeather can do it, I can. (Insert panicked expression in Icey's general direction!!) That's my goal - follow the plan for one month. At this point, weight loss is not the issue - sticking with something for that long is the issue. I'm terrible at remembering to do things, and let myself get off track really easily. (Just look at our Bible Study group! x_X) So, if I can do this for one month, that will be progress in itself - anything else will be icing on the cake.
So Ice, if you have any more sage advice, I am ALL EARS!!!
Well, I feel some better now. That's probably a good thing. =)
+Kyle told me tonight, "You're beautiful, you know that?" I never know what to say when he says something like that. I know what he wants me to say ("I know"), but how can I when I don't believe it myself? Sometimes I do just to humour him, but tonight I said "I must be, I guess." He really seemed upset over that and made me give him the answer he wanted anyway.
The whole interchange just depressed me more. I'm one of those people who, when someone says "you're a beautiful person", they mean "you're beautiful on the inside". I don't kid myself...I know I'm not much to look at, and even when I do get my weight down where it needs to be, I'm not going to be supermodel material. But is it wrong for me to wish that I had what it takes for people to notice me? I'd never act on a come-on or have an affair or anything, but just once I'd love to know what it feels like to have some cute guy at the mall do a double-take when I walk by.
Just once.
I really should be happy, you know. I should be thankful that I have a great husband who thinks I'm really all that - and I am thankful...I just wish I could live up to that belief, you know what I mean? I really don't deserve to have wound up with such a great guy.
So I guess that's enough pity-partying. The year's a quarter over, and I need some goals. I cleaned my desk off (mostly) Saturday, and found the fakie Points Finder I bought....3 months ago. I made a printable chart that I can fill out daily so I can keep up with the points of what I eat. I'm going to follow this for one month. If IceFeather can do it, I can. (Insert panicked expression in Icey's general direction!!) That's my goal - follow the plan for one month. At this point, weight loss is not the issue - sticking with something for that long is the issue. I'm terrible at remembering to do things, and let myself get off track really easily. (Just look at our Bible Study group! x_X) So, if I can do this for one month, that will be progress in itself - anything else will be icing on the cake.
So Ice, if you have any more sage advice, I am ALL EARS!!!
Well, I feel some better now. That's probably a good thing. =)