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[personal profile] lsdiamond
Nancy thanked me.. She was fixing breakfast, and just kindof stopped for a second and said, "In case I don't get another chance to tell you, thank you for being Scooter's friend. He really needs one right now."

I laughed lightly, and said there was nothing to thank me for... I've only ever done that which I'm halfway proficient at doing, and I'm not even very good at that... Besides, he has always been a wonderful friend to me. I almost said more, but chose against it.

I've alluded to some of the difficulties between me and +Kyle this weekend... She has said, not knowing everything, that I need to pray about it a lot, and follow my heart.

Good Lord that is getting to be a repetitive answer. Everyone's telling me the same thing, though... Even +Kyle did at one point. Make yourself happy. Follow your heart.

Everyone except the people I'm afraid of. My parents. The church. Etc...

I know what it is I want to do. I want to stay here. I want to be alone...no relationships...no pressure... Just to get on with life as I see fit. I have a potential plan all worked out, and it's good.

It would explain why my dreams of future events never involve +Kyle.

He will not grant me a separation. If we split up, it will be for keeps. He wants a clean break from Oklahoma...he will want the same with me. I sense that he will not want even friendship after such a departure, but I will offer it freely.
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January 2012

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