Yesterday's mail brought a very special gift from my beloved Andrea. For the sake of sharing beauty, (and the fact that it brings tears to my eyes) I asked if I could include it in my journal, and she obliged.
March 15, 2004
I know it's been forever since I've actually written a "real" letter to you, but I wanted this to be something more tangible than words on a computer screen.
You do have a gift for loving, listening, and "just" Being there. If you were not in my life, there would be much missing. You make me smile & laugh & always have. I can talk to you about things I can't talk to anyone else about. I know without a doubt, you will never judge me unfairly. My soul delights in your creative works - your poems, art, drawings - as things of great beauty.
You bring out the best in me. Knowing you has helped me to reach out of my comfort zone & try new things, helped give me the courage to stand up to my parents & marry Tim, the love of my life.
Your friendship, caring, listening, encouragement - I don't have words to tell you how much they mean to me. In your dark valleys you are going through, you do have strength. The comparison to a diamond for you is very accurate - a diamond has to go through great, unbelievable pressure to become the brilliant, strong stone. I am glad for your sake that I have been struggling with depression because I can empathize with you now. Many of the statements you've made about yourself ring true with what I think in my mind about myself many times. I have a very difficult time asking for help - that is something Tim has had to deal with the whole time we've been married, and especially so since Seamus was born.
There are moments of happiness in my life of late, more and more so. One night I was tired & went to bed early, wasn't quite asleep & Tim called me from the nursery. Shay was standing up in his crib, holding onto the rail, all by himself. It was so cute & I took him out and gave him a big hug. He started wanting to play & he blew raspeberries on my arm & shoulders & was just laughing & giggling! That was the first time I had really felt any joy in many months, & there have been several such times since then.
Yours will come too, in their own way & time. God is there & does love you so much He died for you.
I am, in all my imperfect humanness, here for you, too. I love you & cherish our friendship for the priceless gift it is.
Your friend forever & your sister in Christ,