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Yay, the weekend! Okay, so it's in the middle of the week. Whatever!

Tonight was fun, but surprise, surprise, they dropped another truck on us, so the store ended up with something like 1800 pieces instead of the 500 we originally expected. I worked paper with Becky, and we kicked major butt. There were ~10 pallets, and not only did we get that out (with only 1 pallet of overstock!), we got some more stuff out of the bins, and got that single pallet binned as well. Not only that, but we got three endcaps set up, including one for housewares. All this by 6:30 We rock, and we had a good time.

I'm not sure which I like better: chemicals or paper. Chemicals are a lot heavier (making for a better workout), and there are many more products with which to contend (slowing down the process). Paper is lighter, but it's extremly bulky (making it hard to handle). However, there are considerably fewer items to sort, and it's a lot easier to zone. I get bruised a lot more with chemicals, but we both get hit in the face a lot more with paper goods. Ah well...I'm sure they'll be swapping me back and forth between the departments for awhile, cross-training.

I am caught up on CBLs until the 16th. Wai! There are a lot due then, so I'll need to do one or two every day for the next week, but that's only like 20-30 minutes a night if I listen to the audio.

I haven't written down my hours properly, but I guesstimate that I'll need to not come in until midnight Friday so as not to have much (if any) overtime. I might have an hour over, but I'm really not sure now. Yikes! I need to call someone and ask. I have my spreadsheet set up properly now, so I'll be able to keep track of the time much better in the future.

I saw an old acquaintance from my elementary and high school days tonight; Nathan. I say acquaintance, because we were never really that close (we picked on each other incessantly, and didn't seem to have the greatest relationship because of it). I had the worst crush on him for the longest time, which is pretty much why I picked on him so much. I think he was threatened and retaliating as opposed to playing back...ah well. Long story as to the 'why' I flirted the way I did...not that it worked. LOL

Anyway, he had worked at this particular Dreaded Mart of Wal for 6 years, while going to school, and is now working on his Master's at UAH. He didn't say what field, and seemed in a hurry, so I didn't ask, but it was nice to see him again.

There are a couple of people I haven't mentioned prior, though we've talked quite a bit: Jaqueline and Teresa. Jacqueline is petite (and I do mean tiny) with long blonde hair and green eyes. She's 38 and looks close to my age. The topic came up tonight, as she mentioned having a 15 year old son. I said there was no way, then asked incredulously if she was 15 when she had him, and she blushed and said, "Thank you! You just made my night!" LOL... That sounds rude when I write it out that way, but it was really funny at the time, and she was understandably thrilled. Jacqueline seems kinda redneckish, but she's very cool, and we like a lot of the same kinds of music. She's talking about going to see Ozzy later this year if he tours anywhere close enough. *drool* I'd love to see him in concert before he gets too decrepit to perform anymore.

Teresa is also small, with brown hair just past her shoulders, and brown eyes. She looks like she could be partially Hispanic, or perhaps American Indian, but it's hard to say. I met her at the sink the other night; she couldn't get her hair to behave, so I gave her a ponytail holder. At lunch or on break, I forget which, we started talking about movies. She had just seen Twelve Monkeys, and wanted to know if I had gotten the same thing from the ending as she did. We haven't spent a lot of time together, because she's a cashier, but we chat when we pass each other or if we're on break at the same time.

So that was my night. Need to be up for about four more hours, and was hoping for some DII time, but I guess I'll play tonight since +Kyle just got up.
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Well, here I am... Getting ready to go in for my first training session at The Dreaded Mart of Wal. Almost finished with breakfast, then I need to make myself look somewhat less undead (having been on a more-or-less third-shift lifestyle for about two weeks now), then leave in about 10 minutes.

We watched Big Fish last night. I really enjoyed it, and +Kyle seemed to. There's something about stories of eternally-devoted lovers that stings a bit at the moment, but it's a good story about not-so-tall tales. It wasn't as Burtonesque as I'd expected...definitely strange, and exactly the sort of story he'd do, but it wasn't as overt as his work usually is. Maybe our boy is growing up. *sniff*

I chatted with Nancy a bit last night over Yahoo. She's such a delight to talk to, and I miss going over to her house to spend time with her. It sounds like they're going to have a lot of fun at Lake Powell later in the summer.

Well, I'd best go so I'm not late. Rather be early! Ganbaru!

I Wonder

May. 19th, 2004 11:08 pm
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I wonder what everyone at work is doing now... Is Niki still faithfully reading her Oprah Book of the Month Club Book (aka my blog)? How's Lori doing? What's Edith up to? I bet Mark and Sherry are swamped. How is Jay? How are Marsha and Clara?

...

...

I miss everyone so much...

Dark

May. 14th, 2004 03:05 am
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I realize it's probably a good thing that Scooter is not online tonight... I can't be emotionally dependent on someone who isn't around. It would be comforting, but also painful.

+Kyle is driving me absolutely bonkers, though. He keeps asking me what's wrong. It hasn't changed - I don't want to move, but I am going to anyway. I told him I'd work through this with him, that I'd be with him no matter what. He's moving, so that means I have to as well. He says I'm not trying to make this work. How can I tell him about my inner battle? I may have had to force down emotional attachment from Scooter, but I *do* still love him. Just because he's not going to be around doesn't mean he'll be gone from my mind or my heart right away.

I wish that the idea of seeing everyone again was comforting or even happy, but it's not. All I can see right now is that I am leaving a lot of people I love dearly behind...especially one.

+Kyle wrote this immense letter today outlining that he wants to be everything for me...so much so that I never even think of another man. He wants me to smile about him like he does about me. Having little more than compassion for +Kyle right now, that's not a thought that seems feasible. It doesn't sound pleasant. It feels like going back to prison after being pardoned from a life sentence. Isn't that a horrible way for me to feel?

I want to do the right thing...apparantly that is to stay with +Kyle and work my ass off for the next however many years. But at the same time, I see my reasons to smile being left behind. Perhaps I will find old ones again in Alabama. Perhaps new, what with school coming up...although I think I'm going to have to put it off because +Kyle keeps reminding me how much debt we already have. -_- I really don't want to do that, because if I don't go back now, I may never go back.

For +Kyle's sake, I'm hopeful that these strong emotions will fade over time, but I'm also fearful that they will. No one *wants* to hurt, but I am afraid that one day I will find I don't miss him that much, and the pain inside me even now will cease. What happens in that case? What if he still misses me? Or what if he finds he doesn't miss me so much anymore, either? What if he finds someone else? I would be happy for him...but would I not also feel a sense of loss? He says he doesn't want anyone else...but life tends to throw things at us when we least expect it. I have to keep that possibility in mind. He is strong, but can he last that long? Will he grow weary? Will loneliness overtake him? Bitterness? I hope not. I have given him yet another hypocrite to despise, yet he does not see it, or at least, has not acknowledged it to me.

Last Day

May. 12th, 2004 08:22 pm
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Okay, Niki! There you are - as promised, much to read about in your Book-of-the-Month novel that is my blog.

More about today, as it was my last at The Madill Record, but for now, I need to get ready to go out to Cory's, as we're going to D&D one last time.

Later later.
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We got up rather late (9-ish) and went to church shortly thereafter. Mainly it was a ceremony to honor mothers, being Mother's Day.

So afterward, we came back to the house, grabbed a quick lunch (bratwurst & salad), and Scooter came by about half an hour earlier than we expected, so we ran around and left out shortly after 1:00.

The drive to Sherman is interminable going the back roads, because there is just nothing to look at. Trees. Sign. Trees. Grass. Trees. Grass. Bridge. Grass. Cows. Grass. Cows. Sign. Grass. Grass. Cow. Barn. Sign. Grass. Cows. Trees. Grass. McDonald's. Then you meet Hwy 82, and you're basically there.

So we got tickets for the 4:00 showing of Van Helsing, then bummed around the mall for awhile. +Kyle had a nosebleed shortly after we arrived.

Really, all we did was play in the arcade. I did pod racing, but the screen is going out, so it wasn't a very successful run. +Kyle found an awesome game that senses your movement - you're a member of the Japanese police, and you go in, taking out the yakuza (Japanese mafia). Very very cool. If you duck, the viewpoint ducks. Hide behind a wall, likewise. Stand up to fire, etc. It's really awesome. They need it in Huntsville if they don't have it already. Can't remember what it was called, though. Scooter very nearly beat Soul Caliber. On the very last guy, in the very last battle, the enemy overtook him with a series of devastating blows. He said it was the closest he's ever come to beating it without using any Continues. ^_^ After that, he challenged us each to air hockey. +Kyle won 7-6, in a very long match. The puck flew off the table several times. My game wasn't nearly as long, but I still did pretty well - 7-6, but Scooter won that time. My weak spot is the right side of the goal, and I didn't guard it very well.

After playing, it was getting close enough to 4:00 that we decided to head toward the theatre. We got there about 10 'til, and the place was pretty much packed. Our seats were in the front row of the stadium area, which is placed *about* as far back as we like to sit, so they were decent.

Van Helsing - possible spoilers ahead )

After the film, we went for Chinese at China Star. It was of course quite good. It's no Formosa, and hopefully one of these days we can show our friend what REAL Chinese tastes like...but it was still good. We made small talk...largely about the movie.

by now it was about 7:30, and thus far too early to think about calling it a night, so we decided to go back through Durant and do the Sunday night bowling deal. It didn't start until 10, so we put our names on the list - lane 16 - the first lane we ever played. Since it was rather early yet, we went for coffee at the Waffle Shoppe. I don't remember much of the conversation...just enjoyed the company. I know 80s cartoons were discussed at some point. Probably plans for the future. Reminiscence... I tried not to think about the fact that this was our last outing.

So...Bowling! On Sundays, it's a $5 cover (shoes included), and each game is a quarter.
We can play four games in two hours, so this turned out to be a good deal. We still never broke 400, but it was a lot of fun. Scooter & I split a pitcher again, but I didn't get nearly as blitzed as last time. :P That's probably the last time I'll be combining alcohol and any kind of publicly recreational activity, simply because +Kyle only drinks the really dark beers. Maybe if Des comes along, or if we go anywhere with Gamegod and Geekgrrl. Ian's not old enough yet.

The place shut down around midnight, so since I had to be at work later, we figured it was a good idea to get back to Madill. It seems like the ride home was pretty quiet. Bridges were discussed. At some point in the evening, Scooter informed us that the Roosevelt Bridge between Kingston and Durant sways, and he had had to stop on it one time (due to traffic, I think), and noticed it then. Once again, I am not looking forward to the one over the Mississippi on I-40. I always dread bridges of any sort, anyway, but that one is just...yikes... +Kyle jokingly said he was going to cross it and I could follow him or not, but I don't think he realizes just how much they scare me. Worse than high places. Upon a Googling, I find the term to be "gephyrophobia", and that it is a fairly common fear. Meh. Doesn't make me not have to drive over it!

Overall, it was a great day. I can't believe how much I'm going to miss these outings with our illustrious friend - even when he's on a down cycle. Yes, we'll do similar activities with friends in Alabama...I'm really trying to look forward to that...but this especially hurts.
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Saturday was a late-getting-started day. We slept until about 11:00, then called Scooter at work to see if he still wanted to go to the range before VJ's luau. He said sure, so I ran to The Dreaded (Mini) Mart of Wal for ammo while +Kyle got the guns ready.

At the store, a couple of guys probably in their 40s - one of them had a kid around age 10 - were getting fishing supplies or something. I was at the counter rattling off the different ammunition sizes I needed to the clerk, and one of the guys asked if I was going into the military. ^_^ It struck me as funny, but I just smiled and said that no, I was going to the range for some target practice.

Scooter has just moved in with Rick, as the dorms at MSC have been sold to the Chickasaw Nation for some other use, and the new dorms haven't been built yet. Rick lives upstairs at the funeral home in Tish. It's a *very* strange arrangement, but it sounds like a sweet deal - $250 a month, all bills paid! Rick lucked out for sure, and I guess they're splitting the rent now.

Anyway, we got to their apartment around 12:30, and he had basically decided not to go. His car had been overheating after the shortest of drives (like from Rick's to the Shamrock station and back...maybe a mile round-trip.) So he wanted to look at that, and was in rather an unpleasant mood from our conversation the previous evening. He'd been late to work - a first for him - and was just not really in the mood.

+Kyle was pretty distraught over this, as the disagreement & upset was his fault. He kept pushing last night, instead of letting the issue drop, and pushed way too far. We stood around for a little while just talking, and +Kyle apologized for being so paranoid, for not truly forgiving, being so accusatory, and the rest.

The other night we were talking, and he actually gave me credit for being able to think of a scheme to get him to end our marriage on his terms since he wouldn't do it on mine. Something about me being so ready to try to work things out as a way to throw him off guard so I could leave later or something. Short of being annoyed with his paranoia, I was flattered that he thought I was clever enough to come up with something that devious. I'm just not.

After much coercion, and finding that the Corsica was excessively low on water, we finally got Scooter to come with us to VJ's house to make an appearance and then leave at his discretion, as she'd said it was a 'come and go as you please' thing. By now, it was 2:00, so we told him that after we decided to leave, we'd come back by Rick's and see if he felt any better, and we could go to Western Inn or even the range, since it doesn't get dark until late.

So...VJ's luau was a lot of fun. I didn't know who all to expect, but besides the three of us, it was her family. She had the backyard set up with chairs, tables, and an inflatable water slide for the kids who would ostensibly be coming over later to play with Lynze. She also had one of those quick set up pools - the ring around the top is inflatable, and I guess it just fills itself. They're nifty, and work well! They are only just deep enough to swim a very little bit in, but one could get a pretty good whirlpool going if they tried. Oh! Must not forget, she had a slip 'n' slide type thing, too.

We all sat around and chatted about nothing in particular over summer sausage, fruits, veggies and soda. Oh wait, it's Oklahoma, so the word is 'pop'. My bad. ;) Anyway, VJ plans to go low carb, see about joining the reserves (I think?) when she gets her weight down, and I think she mentioned a career, but for the life of me, I can't remember it. I'm so proud of her, and it sounds like she has her plans figured out nicely. Brian seems to be supportive, so that's cool. ^_^

VJ had some cute games, too. One was a deal where you lay this ring on the ground, then try to flip these jellyfish-looking things into the ring. Problem is, they bounce erratically when they hit the ground, so the trick is to get them high enough where they bounce more controllably. We all eventually got the hang of that one. Scooter left after about an hour, which was longer than we'd expected, but he seemed to have an enjoyable time, so we thanked him for letting us kidnap him.

Lynze had played in the pool already, and been out, but wanted back in, so I went in to get changed, and we played for awhile. It was a warm day, and the water was a good temperature - just slightly chilly, but not enough to be unpleasant. We had fun doing that, and when she wanted out, she, VJ and I all played with the slip 'n' slide. I don't remember it hurting that much when I was 10. LOL! It was fun, though. Lynze and I played in the little slide thing, too, but I didn't slide. It had a small pool, so we just sat in it and tried to hook these inflatable rings on the pokey-things in front. It was rather silly, but fun, anyway. Lynze is a trip.

VJ also had two badminton raquets and birdies. Lynze wanted to play that, but she's 5, so she swings wildly most of the time. Eventually, she figured out that she could swing more gently, and then I had a chance of hitting it back to her. We got it going back and forth three or four times, then she got excited and whacked it across the yard. LOL! Ah well. Eventually, one of her swings resulted in the pink birdie landing on the roof, well out of reach.

After more noshing, chatting, and visiting, +Kyle and I left around 4:30.

As promised, we went back up to Rick's to see if Scooter wanted to go out to the range. We really didn't expect him to, but had offered and wanted to make good as this would be the last chance. Surprisingly, he did! So we went and shot for about two hours. He's not comfortable around guns, but did pretty well, considering, and really seemed to enjoy the events. We all tried out +Kyle's sniper rifle, which isn't sighted properly, so none of us hit what we wanted to, or even got very close, but it was still fun. Of the semiautomatic pistols, I can't decide if I like the 1911 or the Taurus better. I didn't shoot the .22 this time, but we all giggled about the toy-like ping it makes when compared to the bigger stuff.

The best part was when we got out the shotgun. +Kyle put a new recoil pad on it, and it is SO nice to shoot now! Before, it would bruise your shoulder because there was no absorption. Now the kick is anything but unpleasant, and of course that BOOM! is satisfying. We all took a shot with it, and then I rounded up some cans and bottles that other people had left, laying them out on the table. (Actually, I had done this earlier to practice with the 9 mil, but I only hit one of them - at the bottom, and it went FLYING up and back about 10-15 feet. That was just funny.

But back to the shotgun! We had those cans and things lined up, and I took the first shot, and caused serious harm to a Gatorade bottle. We all did, and finally we bunched them all up, and Scooter took a shot, and they arced up and back in perfect Hollywood fashion at 10:00, 11:00, 1:00 and 2:00. It wouldn't have been a more beautiful shot if it had been planned. I really wish we'd had video of it.

The containers were long past being useful by this point, the cans shredded, and the bottles even moreso.

It was around 7:00 by this time, and we decided to pack it in and go, sans coffee break, as Scooter was pretty well exhausted. I think he told us later that he crashed around 9:00.

Don't remember much of the rest of the evening. It was probably spent in much talk, and likely some DDR, as well.

Tuesday

May. 11th, 2004 06:54 pm
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Nancy finished my costume. It's hella cool, and absolutely incredible work. We had one last fitting before she hemmed the bottom of the bodice, and we just sat and talked about miscellany for about an hour. We talked a little about the move, but not much, and it's a good thing.

Anyway, pictures will be forthcoming. I made the cloak, and it's pretty good. It flows beautifully - am considering lining it with a red metallic flecked material that I just love, but it won't flow the same if I do, so I'm going to have to try a small piece of the two materials first.

Jim came in a couple of times - they're taking a vacation somewhere this summer, and he was getting a place reserved. Their whole family gets together for *everything*. It's pretty cool. ^_^

Leaving was hard. I managed to not break up until after driving off, but after that was the end. I'm going to miss them so much, especially Nancy. I finally realized who she reminds me of so much...Kathy...

And lastly, some fitting words from Chobits...


"Oh, no, I’m fine. I only feel like an angel who was sitting on cloud 9, playing my harp without a care in the world, when all of a sudden, my wings were ripped off, sending me plummeting down to hell and the sulfurous Abyss of Pure Misery." - Hideki
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Work was long. I have so much to do and no time in which to do it. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, I will probably end up working late just to do the *usual* tasks, and I still have the end-of-month jobs to do from April. The graduation and Sand Bass festival tabloids have been taking up ALL of my normally spare time for the past few weeks. Today was much the same.

After work, we went to the MSC graduation ceremony. +Kyle really doesn't know why he decided to walk, but I'm glad he did. We got there, and he got changed into his robe and hat, then wandered off to find the other graduates so they could get into formation and all. I wandered into the crowded field to find a seat, preferably with friends. I walked right past Micah and another girl. They were with some guy and his son, and I *think* Susan's son. Can't remember any of their names, but I've seen them around.

Micah yelled, and I turned, realizing who had been there the whole time, and so I sat with them. I had taken the folding recliner, since that's the only portable chair we had. Micah was incredulous at how cool it was, and I traded chairs with her, because it's really more of a gaming chair than a sit-down-at-an-event-and-try-not-to-fall-asleep chair.

Shavonn came up shortly thereafter, and sat with all of us, too. Mike and Lydia were almost directly behind us - just a few seats over to the left. Roger's girlfriend and I guess his parents (or maybe it was Jeff's parents) sat with them, too, so I saw a lot of people right off the bad. Alan came up from somewhere and said hi, but Rodney is out of money, and therefore out of gas, so he wasn't around. Bummer! Guess I won't be getting his autograph after all. :P That kid is going to be famous someday.

Anyway, Micah was talking on her cellphone, so I chatted with Mike and Alan for a few. Nancy was graduating, so we were proud of her for that. Lydia was working in the cafeteria, so I didn't actually see her right away. Scooter wandered up after awhile, but the ceremony was about to start so he sat with the rest of us.

The ceremony was pretty good. It was outdoors, and a simply gorgeous day, although it was probably murderously hot for the grads, in their polyester robes. :P Dr. Peterson (the president) is leaving MSC, for a more important job in...Ohio?...being a grandfather. He spoke for a minute, introduced much of the faculty, and then another fellow, Kermit McMurray, I think, got up to speak. He had some pretty good things to say, but he's not a public speaker by any stretch of the imagination. The whole concept was staying educated for your whole life, and learning to do the things that are right over what you want to do. Self-sacrifice, morality and what's wrong with the nation (i.e., poverty, illness, etc.), and what we can do to help these things. It was supposed to be motivational, but it was so long, and he so overly verbose (Frasier gots nothing on this guy!) that the meaning was lost.

After that, I think Dr. Peterson got back up and they started calling names of people to get their degrees. I got some pictures of Nancy, JoAnna, +Kyle, and VJ, of course, who was the only reason I wanted to go until I found out +Kyle had decided to walk as well. I'm really proud of her for finally getting her degree. She's been going to school off and on for something like the last 15 years. I'm proud of +Kyle, too. The past two years have been a real struggle, and it's good to see some of the fruits of his labors...mine, too, I guess.

Close to the end, Tamica was called, and more people cheered for her than for anyone else. Everyone loves her, and she has been at every event that I can recall being at. She's great, and I wish I'd gotten to know her more personally than just hi-howya-doin'?

Afterward, we all split up to find our respective friends to congratulate them. I went where +Kyle *had* been sitting, thinking I'd catch him before he got too far, but he had vanished, as had VJ, so I wandered around, finding Joanna and Roger first, and then I saw +Kyle, and made my way over there. We went around together and found several people to congratulate, especially VJ. We found Mike, and he said to meet him and Lydia at his apartment because they were going to [livejournal.com profile] bitchness' afterward. Wai! Awesome Heather! ^_^

+Kyle stopped to talk to Dr. Peterson for a minute, and we talked to Debbie Combs, who congratulated us on the move and told us to come back and visit. We found Susan Branch, who nearly cried, but said she wouldn't. We're especially going to miss her - she's done so very much for us since day one. If I were going to work at a college, I would want her kind of job, because she's involved with the students right from the start. She also told us we need to come back and visit.

A lot of people are telling us this. I hope it's not long before we come back to see everyone.

Anyway, I ran to get some more water in the library, and +Kyle went to the truck so we could get out. We hadn't been able to find Joanna all evening, but fortunately her parents' van was parked out quite near our truck, so we got to see her after all. ^_^

+Kyle found a rose somewhere - dropped or lost, no doubt, but he gave it to me. ^_^ I always thought I didn't care about things like that - insignificant in the great scheme of things...but when you're in that moment, and it's the sweetest thing imaginable... Yeah, I like those cheesy romantic-type things. It's strange having them come from +Kyle, because he's so...unemotional... It's hard to say how I feel about it.

So we went to Mike's apartment, and talked with him and Lydia for about 20 minutes while [livejournal.com profile] bitchness cleaned up her house some. Mike has a white rat named Sniff, rescued from the Vet Tech program this semester. They don't simply destroy the animals that are used in the program, but he didn't want to see her wind up as someone's dissection exercise, either. She is pretty cute - probably average rat size, not one of the big ugly nasty ones.

Anyway, after those few minutes, we followed them to [livejournal.com profile] bitchness' house. We just sat and chatted about not much of anything in particular for awhile. I guess Mike and Lydia stayed about an hour. +Kyle and I weren't exactly sure what to do, being that we were guests of guests, but we like [livejournal.com profile] bitchness, too, so we stayed another hour or so. We talked about politics, movies, music, and that kind of thing. She's getting ready to move in a few weeks, too - Seattle.

Don't remember when we left or got back to the house, but it was late, and we were up later, because we slept WAY in Saturday...

More on Saturday...later!

Birthdae

Apr. 24th, 2004 08:01 pm
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Happy Birthday to Me!

Today was a pretty good day, overall. Not much really went on for the first half. I got up around 8:00 so I could check email and such before running some errands around town.

First, I took laundry to the 'mat, and then ran to the post office for a couple of cube boxes. Those two eBay auctions NEED to go out Monday. Then I went to Wesley's Closet to look for clothes. Being the 4th Saturday, it was bag sale day - $1.00 for you to cram as many clothes as you can into a standard size plastic grocery bag. Not a bad deal. I think I got about a dozen pairs of jeans for +Kyle and myself for $4, plus some workout shorts and a couple nice shirts. Eat that, Old Navy!

Ran back to the laundromat and put things in the dryer. Next, onto The Dreaded (Mini) Mart of Wal for some cough drops, as I'd woken with a nasty cough, much like when I'm coming down with something. I'm pretty sure I am. :P Bleh. Saw George out in the parking lot, corralling shopping carts. He seemed in good spirits as per usual.

Back to the laundromat for a second round through the dryer, then went back to the house to see if it was "safe". +Kyle had said he needed me out of the house *anyway*, so he could wrap my pressie. He was finished with that, so I checked email and such before going back for the clothes.

+Kyle called the guys back about taking Washu, and they agreed to. +Kyle drove her out there, and said that she was just as happy as anything after her initial "I'm meeting someone new" growl. He misses her, but I think we did the right thing giving her up. She needs more room than we can give her at this time, and probably for awhile. She needs a pack. These people have a huge place and several animals for her to befriend. They have several years' experience in caring for and breeding them. +Kyle said their animals weren't as pretty as Washu, though.

So later, +Kyle ran out and got a cake for the party, and picked up something else, but I don't remember what it was. We just basically vegged for a couple of hours. I think there was talking, but that would have put me in a poor mood for the day, so I think we dropped it. We took about an hourlong nap, since it was likely we'd be out late, at least with the movie.
We got ready to go around 3:00 and left at 4:00. I forgot the camera, and we had to come back for it; fortunately it was easy to find, and we realized it was missing only just after the first bridge, so it wasn't terribly out of our way.

We stopped by Clary's to see if they were still open for an imprinting, but they close at noon on Saturdays. D'oh... A quick run by the ATM, and then we went to Simple Simon's to wait on people. It was right at 4:30 like we expected.

Everyone was there by 5:00 except VJ. Mike & Lydia, Scooter, Micah, and Joanna were all there, and VJ came very shorly after 5:00. Brian wasn't feeling well, which was sad, because we like him. Joanna's boyfriend was also unable to make it, which was fine, because we don't really know him. We took LOTS of pictures. Everyone got along famously, so it was great. We all talked about everything under the sun, mostly just goofing off, and telling stories on ourselves. I wish I remembered entire conversations like that better. I need to start carrying around a tape recorder. :P

Presents! I had told +Kyle to make sure people knew NO GIFTS, but somehow that word was not spread to everyone. This was meant to be rather a Hobbit birthday. Mike and Lydia bestowed upon me a copy of Tales of Mystery and Imagination by The Alan Parsons Project, which ROCKS. VJ brought me some new face paint (haha! - eyeliner and the like). The pièce de résistance was from my family - DDR Max 2 with 2 gamepads. Muahahaha! I have already gotten a 111 combo, albeit only on Beginner Mode. I've played at least a half hour every day since, and today over an hour.

The cake was a disaster. Oh, yes, it was good. Fudge. Chocolate icing. Tasty. But ugh. +Kyle nearly went into a diabetic coma after eating his. Really, we all did. I definitely got sick on it, and I didn't eat nearly the whole piece. Sugar and I just do not get along. We all agreed it was divine, but also of the devil. LOL

Everyone dissolved around 7:00, which was about as long as we expected. It had been a quiet evening at Simple Simon's, so we didn't bother anyone, and no one bothered us. The manager gave us a sweet deal on dinner since we were having so many people.

So, Scooter, +Kyle and I had already been planning to go see The Punisher all week, so we went down to Jim & Nancy's to shoot some pool before heading down to Sherman, since we'd miss the 7:30 showing by now. Much of their extended family was there due to Promise's baby shower. Tyla and a cousin were watching The Haunted Mansion, so we saw about the second half of that. It really is kindof a cute movie. Cheesy as all, but cute.

Got to Sherman about half an hour early for the 10:30 showing. We'd seen all the previews except for The Village. This was funny. I had just said not 5 seconds before that promo came up that I was ready for a new M. Night Shamaylan film. Voila! It really does look interesting, and I'm glad to see Joaquin Phoenix in another one of his films.

So The Punisher was freaking AWESOME! )

So after the movie, we went for the customary coffee and chat, this time at IHOP. This is definitely my favorite so far. Waffle Shoppe...ehh... Denny's...very not bad... IHOP...magnifique... Oh dear, am I becoming a coffee snob? Help! There is a Starbuck's in Sherman, after all. But I doubt they're open late, and we only drink coffee after midnight...

So I think the next movie we're going to see is going to be Van Helsing... Really looking forward to that one!
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Post a reply here with a memory you have of me. Good, bad, funny, serious, personal, whatever sticks out. That's it. :) Then pose the same question in your own journal.


I plan to go through and write something about everyone I can possibly remember, but I'm not sure I have memories that stick out about everyone... We'll see. ^_^ It's late and I'm full of coffee, so I can't really think at the moment. :P
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I'm reminded that it was only a week ago that Nancy and I were talking about this situation, albeit not *everything* involved. It feels like a month.

I forget exactly what brought it up, but there was the subject of happiness. She mentioned that you can't step on other peoples' toes for your own happiness. But, at the same time, you can't try to make everyone else happy - you have to make *yourself* happy, because no one else really knows how. I think that was the gist of what she was saying. Knowing the way she believes, I understand that she was leading me to a conclusion without preaching at me. She understands that you sometimes have to let people make their own mistakes, and then show them that love, grace, and forgiveness I was talking about before.

So I understand that what I need to be concentrating on is "what would make God happy?"

The problem is that I don't know what that is. I know that 90% of the people I know are spouting "divorce is a sin" and "the wife's body is not hers, but her husband's" and how wrong I am for even being in the place I am right now, for allowing that vicious cycle to ever start. Listen, people, I already know that I've been wrong. I've been admitting that since I started coming out about all of this stuff. I took that speck out of my eye as soon as I saw it was there, and now I'm pointing out that some of you might just have splinters to contend with.

Do I think I'm better than you? No. I know better than that. None of us is better than anyone else in God's eyes. No one deserves anything more than death and hell. But look at what we have, despite what we deserve.

I have learned over the years that even advice given with the best intentions is not always good advice. I have learned over the years that no one congregation or individual has 100% of the truth correct. I have learned over the years that God is not the tyrant that many religions and "denominations" make Him out to be. Yes, He has a plan for everyone's life. It's the ideal path for any one person to take. And yes, there's only one way to reach Him - through Christ Jesus. But He also allows for the fact that humans are weak. He gives us an outline, but He also provides grace and forgiveness for the times when we go out of those bounds.


Sometimes we children run out into the street instead of staying in the safe playground. When that happens, He picks us up, kisses our skinned elbow, makes it better, and shows us the way to get back to the playground. He never ever drags us back with Him. He shows us what could be, and lets us decide whether to come with Him or continue playing in the street.


This is what I was talking about when I said that the Scott family has a more Christian love than most Christians I've ever met.

The one thing I am certain of that would make God happy is to treat others with love. Right now, I don't know exactly how to do that with certain people. I need time to learn how. I need space to learn how. Frankly, I need time and space just to learn how to treat *myself* with love, because I *really* don't know how to do that. How can I be expected to know when others are *truly* treating me with love?

I know I was put in a loving, Christian family for a reason. I just believe that maybe that reason was to teach them something they may not have thought of or realized before. I don't pretend to be any great scholar. But I do know that God gave me one gift for certain - a mind that doesn't work like everyone else's. It never has. It's caused a lot of problems for me. It takes longer to reach some conclusions than most people's. The path it takes is longer and more difficult, and the footing is usually unsure. I have a hard time with simple mathematics, for example. But when I am in a discussion with people, sometimes the most off-the-wall idea will come to my mind, and it takes awhile for me to explain it to where everyone understands where I am coming from. But once everyone does, it makes sense, and I have contributed something worthwhile, something useful. I have helped someone. I have been given the way to help someone.

+Kyle sat on the couch a minute ago, to try something that we had talked about over coffee Saturday morning. Scooter used to use the Bible as a tool of guidance. He would, when a situation arose that he didn't know how to handle, set a Bible up on its' edge, close his eyes, let it fall wherever, and run his finger down the page until it 'felt' right. He said never once did it fail to apply to what he needed at that time. He said that he understood then that the whole of the Word can apply to every situation we come across.

I'll note here that I used to use this method as well, especially in my teenage years. He never failed to show me the truth in whatever I was going through - even when it hurt to see that truth. +Kyle said Saturday morning that he had tried it over the years as well, but that it never worked for him, and he was frustrated by that. (I have a feeling it just didn't tell him what he wanted to hear...)

So +Kyle just now tried again, and was again frustrated by it "not working". Here's what he found:


Galatians 2:4-7
And this occurred because of false brethren secretly brought in (who came in by stealth to spy out our liberty which we have in Christ Jesus, that they might bring us into bondage), to whom we did not yield submission even for an hour, that the truth of the gospel might continue with you. But from those who seemed to be something--whatever they were, it makes no difference to me; God shows personal favoritism to no man--for those who seemed to be something added nothing to me. But on the contrary, when they saw that the gospel for the uncircumcised had been committed to me, as the gospel for the circumcised was to Peter (for He who worked effectively in Peter for the apostleship to the circumcised also worked effectively in me toward the Gentiles),


Wow. That is exactly what I have been writing about for the past hour or so. Maybe +Kyle didn't see how it applied to the situation at the time, but I hope and pray he sees how it applies now.

Do I believe myself some visionary, some leader of a new order of Christianity? God forbid. But I do believe that He has granted me a small form of insight. No, I know it. +Kyle has told me on numerous occasions that he has seen the folly in not listening to my advice. As have others. If insight, sometimes even foresight, is not a God-given talent, then the church of Christ is correct in their beliefs that we no longer receive spiritual gifts from Him. But if they're wrong about that...what else are they wrong about?

I need to be away from influences from either side. From one who says, "I love you", from one who says "I love you more", from everyone who says I shouldn't even be in this situation (gee, I hadn't figured that one out). Away from potentially false brethren.

Maybe I should have VJ E.O.D. *my* ass for 72 hours. Maybe then people would leave me alone.

I see now that this goes deeper than a marriage that I now know was based in something that it shouldn't have been. (There's an example of +Kyle telling me I was right, he didn't listen, and now look where we are. He reminded me last night something I had long forgotten. I told him when he was pressuring me that people who have sex before they're married wind up having problems later in their marriage. Damn, I hate being right about things!) He admits now that we should have not only waited 'til after we had that piece of paper, that we should have waited to get married at all.

I'm not going to pull a Brainy Smurf here, but...damn...

This goes beyond my realization that our marriage for the wrong reason, and I have wondered for many years if it was even *valid* before the eyes of God because of that. This goes beyond my own "feelings" for any one person over another. This goes beyond the fact that we have been in a situation that is both spiritually and mentally unhealthy, and now that is creeping into my physical health, and could spread to others.

This goes beyond even my thoughts that +Kyle killed me a long time ago. It was a slow death...and I let it happen, even enabled it to happen in some cases, but it doesn't change the fact that I have been dead to him for so long that it is impossible to come back without a total rebirth. I am a pile of ashes, and everyone is trying to relight me. The phoenix rises from the ashes to become more than it was before...greater than it was before. He is hanging onto a lifeless corpse and trying to resuscitate it, when what is needed is to be buried and resurrected anew.

These are the things that lead me to believe that -all- parties concerned would be better off if +Kyle and I separate for awhile. Not permanently at this point. Not so I can date around and get what I missed out on because I got married before I was ready. So I can be alone for a time, to see where it is He really wants me to be. So I can learn who He wants me to be. So +Kyle and maybe even Scooter, if he's willing, can learn who He wants them to be.

I hear the collective sucking in of pained and angry breaths from here. How dare she turn her back on her vows? It's not turning your back if you're willing to allow for the fact that it's POSSIBLE to be healed.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. I can't find the reference for this quote, short of it being an old proverb.

The promises +Kyle and I made to each other were broken before they were ever made. It has caused nothing but years of pain, heartache, deceit, misunderstanding, and has been a breeding ground for resentment on both sides of the equation.

Here is just one more small part of my quandary. He seems to treat me better than he used to...so I feel obligated to stay with him. The physical abuse has lessened, although there have been a couple of shoving matches here in Oklahoma, too, but my perception has been that he has merely changed his tactics of control. He tells me that he's never meant to be controlling, but my experiences and perceptions tell me not to believe that. Trust is a very large problem between us, and has always bee, even though we didn't always realize it, and not just because I kissed Scooter. When we first moved here, I had to work a lot of late nights, learning a new job. We had a scare that first summer because my period was really late, and the first thing he did was ask me what I was *really* doing all those nights I worked late. He didn't believe me until after we got me tested and it came back negative. He has never trusted me, even though I'd never given him reason not to trust me. Perhaps that's why I made the choice I did the other night. Perhaps I decided that it didn't matter if I remained trustworthy, since +Kyle didn't trust me anyway. Maybe I just wanted to hurt him.

I had an important event a few days ago - must have been last Wednesday or Thursday. I wrote about it somewhere, but can't find where that is - probably in my email box, and that's on my currently downed system.

I knew it wasn't the right time to share it in LJ then, but I believe now is the time. I wish I had access to the raw thoughts, but for now, this will have to do:


So I was really angry at God today about all this that's been going on. I'm hurting on several sides right now. My heart hasn't been in this marriage for so long. I've known it wasn't right, but didn't know how to fix it, and because of the reasons behind it not being right, I've been afraid to ask for help. Fearing +Kyle's reaction to something like that has also been a huge deterrent.

God doesn't usually answer me when I talk to Him - He usually only comes to me when I am refusing to acknowledge Him, but I don't care, so I asked the question anyway. Mary has been on my mind a lot lately, and I've feared being in the same situation as she.

So I asked, "Is it *really* possible for You to use divorce as a way to do Your will?"

The answer, as always, was calm, assured, and I knew Who it was.

"Even death can be used to do My will."

The funny thing was that it wasn't me asking if I should just up and leave +Kyle. I don't believe that was even necessarily what He meant by that answer. I am of the belief that He is telling me that no matter what happens in this, it's for the good of everyone involved. If it means +Kyle and I stay together, and work for years to get things patched, it will be because that's what's best. If we find it healthier to be apart, then that will be what is best. We must all simply trust God that whatever happens is truly for our benefit, and because He loves us.

Maybe the answer will be something no one expects.
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Comments off. I would strongly recommend against emailing me, calling me, or anything else right now. I'm really rather not interested in hearing your beliefs or how right or wrong I am. Just leave me the hell alone. Figure it out, people. Leave me alone.

Everything in this letter, +Kyle and I have already discussed over the past few days. It was written before we talked, but I chose to speak with him before sharing it with whoever wanted inside my head.


Cut for vastness )
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Nancy thanked me.. She was fixing breakfast, and just kindof stopped for a second and said, "In case I don't get another chance to tell you, thank you for being Scooter's friend. He really needs one right now."

I laughed lightly, and said there was nothing to thank me for... I've only ever done that which I'm halfway proficient at doing, and I'm not even very good at that... Besides, he has always been a wonderful friend to me. I almost said more, but chose against it.

I've alluded to some of the difficulties between me and +Kyle this weekend... She has said, not knowing everything, that I need to pray about it a lot, and follow my heart.

Good Lord that is getting to be a repetitive answer. Everyone's telling me the same thing, though... Even +Kyle did at one point. Make yourself happy. Follow your heart.

Everyone except the people I'm afraid of. My parents. The church. Etc...

I know what it is I want to do. I want to stay here. I want to be alone...no relationships...no pressure... Just to get on with life as I see fit. I have a potential plan all worked out, and it's good.

It would explain why my dreams of future events never involve +Kyle.

He will not grant me a separation. If we split up, it will be for keeps. He wants a clean break from Oklahoma...he will want the same with me. I sense that he will not want even friendship after such a departure, but I will offer it freely.
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I went downstairs and dug out my sketchpad to work on The Pearl Hotel series of dream sketches.

Nancy and her mother came downstairs presently, went outside for a few minutes, and came back in, inviting me up to chat with them if I wanted. I followed shortly thereafter, but brought the pad, as I was still inspired.

They were making preparations for breakfast, and starting coffee, things like that. I asked if they'd let me do anything to help out, but they said no. LOL... I felt weird about it, but sat at the island and drew, sipped coffee, and visited.

On the menu: Blueberry pancakes, bacon and eggs. Nancy asked if that sounded good to me, and I was obliged to tell her I eat low-carb, but would definitely have to try the pancakes anyway. ;P She asked how that worked for me, and seemed impressed with the comparison of numbers vs. two years ago.

The kindness of this family strikes me with indescribable awe. Never have I as a total stranger been welcomed into a home as if I were family. These people act with a more Christian love than most who claim to *be* Christian.

After about an hour, I went downstairs to check on the guys. They were still asleep, so I woke them up, and we all went upstairs to visit and place our orders for eggs. +Kyle had them overeasy (yuck!), mine were well-cooked, as runny eggs are nasty, and Scooter didn't have any, opting for limp bacon instead. LOL! Also yuck. I agree with Jim's bacon philosophy - it's not bacon if it's not almost burnt.

Breakfast was really good. Nancy used sour cream in the pancakes, and I have to say they were the best I've ever had (although I'm rather fond of my LC pumpkin recipe). I just had butter on mine - the blueberries in them were quite sweet enough (and sooooo juicy!). Yum. I guess we didn't eat until 10:00 or 10:30, so it was more like a brunch, really.

After edibles, we were also not allowed to clean up, short of taking plates from table to sink, so we went downstairs and played pool for a couple of hours. I think I may have won one game legitimately, but any other 'victories' (if they can be called that) were from my partner making mistakes like scratching on the 8 ball. LOL! Of course, I was more interested in trying new things like banking shots and hitting long shots, now that I've gotten a little more comfortable with the game.

As +Kyle says, it's just a distraction, but it sure is fun.

We sat down to watch 'Near Dark', which was simply awful. Scooter knows way too much about vampire lore, and kept going on about either, "Wow, I'm surprised they went into that" or "That would never happen!". He was really incredulous over the whole changing a child part, and of course the transfusion was just silly. I dozed off for about 20 minutes. It really is a bad movie. LOL! But it was fun MST3King certain parts.

We played a couple more rounds of pool, then +Kyle went back to sleep on the couch for about an hour. Jim dragged Scooter off to help him with laying the sand in the form. +Kyle got up, and we both went out to help, too. It was funny, though, because once we were outside, both +Kyle and Scooter kept trying to take whichever tool I had at the time, saying, "You don't need to be out here working with us." LOL! As if! I don't get to play in the dirt every day - you think I'm going to miss out on a chance to play? (Even if it *is* work!) I just kept going back and getting whichever spare implement was available until they both gave up on me. More than just having fun, though, it felt really good to be able to give *something* back to Jim & Nancy for their hospitality.

Shoveling so much sand (and smoothing it flat for the concrete) is hard work, but it only took about an hour for the five of us to do. (Jason was there, too.) It was actually pretty fun, and we left that sense of accomplishment you only get from doing some kind of physical labor. I got a pretty good blister on my left hand, but it was worth it.

I really like Jim. He's one of the people that, when I was little, I would have disliked because they picked on me. Now I find it rather endearing, depending on the picking. i.e., throwing shovelsful (shovelfuls? Neither one of those looks correct.) of sand on my bare feet, successfully filling the rolled cuffs of my jeans with the damp stuff. We all got a good laugh out of that. (I'd been wearing my domme boots since Saturday night, and they're not particularly

We got cleaned up a bit, and sat outside in the beautiful weather, listening to the water in Nancy's ponds, and talking about...gosh, what did we talk about? Lots of things...mostly the events of the weekend, I think.

Of course Jason, Promise and Twila had been back, and Nancy's parents were there, too, but her sister and (I believe) brother-in-law came as well, and a couple of their neighbors, too. We had definitely not expected to be involved in such a huge family gathering, but were never made to feel uncomfortable...quite the opposite.

A neighbor came by offering a small RV if someone would just take it. We went to look at it, because it seemed like a potential fix to some moving issues. The title was lost, so we'd have to apply for a new one, but more than cost, the time involved would be prohibitive. +Kyle decided against it later, which was fine with me.

Eventually, chicken and corn was brought down, so Scooter grilled that, and we all sat and continued talking. I guess everyone ate around 7:30 or 8:00...the sky was starting to darken.

We didn't stay long after dinner, with school and work coming up fast. But we went up and thanked our most gracious hosts, and were likewise thanked for helping out, although that wasn't anything.

What a marvelous time. It's these times and events that make one realize how important it is to have people in your life - people for whom you care, and who care for you.
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Well!

This weekend turned out quite differently than initially planned, but it was simply marvelous.

Saturday, +Kyle & I got up at 4:30. I went ahead and got dressed for the MedFaire, despite a lack of breakfast because my outfit takes so long to get into. +Kyle opted to wait until we got closer to Norman to get changed. Anyway, we met Scooter at Denny's in Ardmore at 6:00 (He was also already in-costume - a very nice Ranger outfit), had breakfast and chatted nicely for probably an hour and a half before setting forth. Nancy & Jim were meeting Promise and Jason for breakfast, too, so we saw them before we left, as well. ^_^

The drive wasn't too bad; only about an hour, and then +Kyle got dressed at a gas station. Several fairegoers passed in and out while we waited outside for him. We got to the softball field for parking right at 9:00. There were maybe a dozen or twenty other vehicles. We meandered through Reeves Park, which is absolutely huge. This faire is easily three-to-four times larger than the one in Florence...and Scooter said it was two-to-three times larger than it was when they held it at the duck pond. Lori had said it was huge, but I had no frame of reference...wow...

Somehow or another, a running joke for the day was +Kyle being French...all in a derogatory sense, of course, but also in good fun. I think it started with the frog on his sash, included the frog that holds his sword, and things just snowballed from there, especially when he affected a French accent.

Let me tell on myself for a moment: one of the earliest places we stopped in at was an art booth. The vendor said to me, "Those aren't the two you were in here with yesterday." I just stared blankly for a minute and said, "Excuse me?" My mind was running through how he couldn't have possibly seen me here with or without anyone yesterday, as I was at work. Eventually, it registered, and I *facepalmed*, laughing, and walked out of the tent, shaking my head. The guy just goes, "Oh good, she got it!" and we all laughed. Oh, that was bad.

One girl was running around with a basket of eternal roses. These were really gorgeous - even more real-shaped than the one I have. +Kyle asked if I would like another, and while that would have been nice, it wasn't a big deal, so I just said 'maybe' and we went off. If I ever see anymore like these, definitely...but right now just isn't a good time.

Many people of course were in costume, and there were some very impressive ones, including an Ent and Dryad (both with amazing body sculpture), a mime-type fellow called "Toy", who winds himself and moves "mechanically". +Kyle posed with him. ^_^ There were gypsies, belly-dancers, pirate-types, and many obligatory faeries. Some of the more interesting ones we saw were a dark rogue-type fellow on long stilts. Scooter chased after a black fae with dreadlocks and tattered wings...he did get her picture. We all chased another guy who had some incredible angel wings. They looked like they moved (similarly to how I want the batwings to move), and upon stopping him and his lady, found that they were. He gave us a demonstration, and let us look at the mechanism (what we could see of it), and provided his email address so I can contact him about more information. He said he builds them, but I'd just like to ask some questions...rather build them myself. Let's see...there was a beggar who went around dipping his fingers into a stein of some kind of gruel, then eating it messily before belching in a most obnoxious fashion. He'd stand there afterward and say, "Who did that?" or something else similar. Oh! There was a slaver; he'll slap a set of manacles on you and drag you around for a few minutes, heckling your friends to find a replacement before letting you go. Fortune smiled on us, and we escaped capture in the first place. Some of the more disturbing folk we saw were a man in an orange dress, dress shoes and some ring-shaped monk-type hat thing. Having only seen him from a distance, I insisted he must be some kind of monk, but upon closer inspection, we all decided that no...he was probably just a queen. Scooter saw another fellow wearing basically only pink tights. Neither +Kyle nor I ever saw him, but our good friend seems scarred for life by the sight.

There is a neat carousel that these two guys cranked by hand. Eight or ten hammock-type seats hung from overhead. A person could lounge in one, and the cranked device would swing them around in a circle, then the guys would spin the hammocks themselves, causing the children to scream. It was most entertaining.

What would a Medieval Faire be without a live chess game? This one was choreographed very well, and the story was pretty good - King Arthur's Court against another court, of whose name I can't recall. Morgan and her sisters were key players. The game ended in more of an all-out brawl between the two teams, but it was still cool.

There was also a booth with birds: two falcons and an owl. For $5, one could get their picture taken with said bird. We took pictures of just the birds for free. :P

We passed by a strength test booth - you know, ring the bell by hitting the post with a sledge hammer? Well, this was more of an Orcish wooden mallet, really. Anyway, my company challenged each other to see who could actually do it. Neither one did, although Scooter only missed the bell by perhaps two inches on his second try. The fellow running the booth heckled them both madly over it. I got pictures, of course...hope they turn out!

We stopped around 1:00 or so for lunch - turkey legs and McGilly's fine beverages of sarsparilla and cream soda. They've come up with a nifty bag to carry the bottles in. It's a disc of leather, slit in such a way that it unfolds down into a mesh-like pouch.

Lunch was good, if rather messy. That is an awful lot of meat for one sitting, but we all picked the bones clean. I have been deemed both a 'prissy' and 'dainty' elven lass. Prissy, because I really didn't care for turkey juice running down my arm while I tried to eat... Dainty? Not sure where that one came from...but it's cute. ^_^

We walked around for another several hours. Scooter saw three or four people he knew, having lived in Norman throughout high school and for several years after that.

Of course, there were many armourers there, but one tent stood out in particular. The piece that caught my eye was a stunning leather set with enormous batwings coming out from behind it. They didn't move, but the leatherwork was incredible. They're quite like what I'm interested in. I took several pictures of these guys' work. Gamegod will absolutely love this particular one.

We went back to the pavilion area on our second time around, and sat at a concrete picnic table this time. We were all starting to pink up a bit by this time. I could feel the heat coming off my skin by 11:00, so I knew I was in trouble early on, but of course you never see it until hours later. SUNSCREEN! Remember it next time!

We set up the timer on our cameras and got some pictures together later in the afternoon. I'm not sure that the timer on our camera worked, so hopefully Scooter's came out well. It's a nice digi, so I'm sure it will. I really wish I'd taken about a million more pictures at the faire... Maybe we can come back next summer.

It would be really cool to come to that (maybe even hit the gun show first, if +Kyle wanted to), then come down to Madill for maybe a week, visit everyone at work, VJ and Brian, and then go down to Scarborough Faire before heading back...assuming it was within that same time frame, which I think it is. I will guarantee that if I ever even *mention* the possibility of coming to visit, there are at least half a dozen households who'd invite us stay with them rather than get a hotel. Lori, Edith & Dale, VJ & Brian, Jim & Nancy, Mark & Sherry, and probably even Jay & Doris or Marsha & her husband, although we're not as close with them as some of the others.

Around 5:30, we decided it was about time to think about going, and besides, we were quite tired from walking around in thin-soled moccasins all day...we had a movie to catch, and wanted to grab a bite beforehand, and we had to think about changing, since we were planning to go clubbing after the movie let out.

First, Scooter stopped by a liquor store called Hob Nob Rob's to get some hard-to-find stuff for his birthday party Saturday. They were out of honey mead, so he was mildly disappointed.

So we ran to Wal-Mart...+Kyle needed socks anyway...and got changed. I took the longest this time, having to fight with my domme boots for about 10 minutes, trying to get my jeans tucked in AND get the boots to zip up...the bells on these jeans are just a bit bigger than on my Old Navy jeans, so it took some doing. +Kyle went for socks, and Scooter wanted to find a better shirt for clubbing in, but couldn't find anything he liked.

We went to the theatre next and procured tix for the 7:40 showing of Hellboy. Muahaha...

So we went to the mall for awhile and tried to decide what to have for dinner. Joe's Crab Shack was mentioned, but the drive was prohibitive due to time, so we just bummed around part of the mall.

There was a nifty hobby shop, similar to the one at the Target center in Huntsville. They had a fantastic setup in the back, filled with all manner of old aviation gear - flightsuits...the ejector seat from a plane...helmets...the thing that they set the trig for dropping bombs with (can't remember the name of it at the moment)...old patches from flight groups... There were other pieces of miscellany, and I wished I'd brought the camera. Dad would love it.

There was a Hot Topic, so of course we had to go in there. They still didn't have any good club shirts for guys, but I saw about a dozen things I'd probably have gotten. :P I was wearing my "I'd be goth, but I can't afford to shop at Hot Topic" shirt...one of the sales people walked up to me and said, "You know we're having a sale today, right?" LOL! I'm sure he was just doing his job, but it was funny nonetheless.

I think I've realized the tattoo problem. I want one, but don't like the idea of the permanence of it. I've considered the airbrushed type, and could probably learn to do that fairly easily, so I'd like to give that a try before too long. But there's Henna, as well. They're still rather popular, and Hot Topic carries a starter kit for about $20. I'd like to get one fairly soon (sadly not 'til after we move) and see how I like it. *ponders* Birthday, maybe? Hmm... :P

We went to the arcade, too. +Kyle played some flight combat game, I think, but I can't remember what it was called. He also tried out a sword-fighting game where you sand on this platform, and there's a motion-sensitive stick, so you actually have to swing, defend, etc. to play. It was really keen. Kinda cheesy, graphically, but a great concept, and the technology seemed fairly sound. Scooter played some driving sim that had good graphics, but he didn't like the controls. We all played Star Wars pod racing. This unit wasn't as nice as the one in Huntsville - you couldn't sit back as far, for one thing, and the screen was small...but it was still pod racing! +Kyle did the best at it, of course. They also had an original Galaga machine, so the guys both played it once just so we'd use the last two tokens.

On our way out, we watched a guy doing DDR. He was absolutely incredible...moved like lightning. He did a combo of 120, and then another one of 108, I believe, and that was just in the couple of minutes we watched him. We were amused to note that the arcade had placed a bench behind the game unit...to accommodate the line of people always waiting to play. Yes indeed, that will be the next game we get for PS2. I need to start doing aerobics and build up stamina anyway...may as well do it to good music. ^_^

About this time, we decided it would be good to get food and get back to the theatre, so we went to Chik-Fil-A and obtained edibles. We got to the theatre plenty early. There are soooo many good films coming up this year! Van Helsing...Troy...King Arthur...Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban...I, Robot... We only saw a few of those trailers this time, but oh yeah... It's going to be a good year for movies...

Anyway, Hellboy... snipped in case of potential spoilers )

So after the movie, we decided what to do next. My burn was starting to hurt pretty badly during the movie, but I fortunately remembered that there was toothpaste in the car...that helped somewhat, but it was rather conspicuous, and I got it all over my shirt in the process. LOL Ah well... I was still good for clubbing or whatever all night, but Scooter mentioned thinking about going back toward McBride instead of staying overnight in the City. +Kyle had already decided that we weren't going to be staying overnight, either, so we went back to Jim & Nancy's house to watch movies and play pool instead.

But first, the obligatory coffee stop after an evening out. (It must be a law out here.) We went to IHOP and sat just talking for probably two hours or better. We talked about everything from the movie to storm chasing to being overly paranoid to bugging out when everything eventually hits the fan, as +Kyle predicts it will within the next 10 years. It was really a wonderful fellowship. Our waitress, Florence, was super, ultra-friendly, and kept an eye on us all night. She was an absolute doll. +Kyle had three cups of coffee. I had four. Bear in mind that I had been off caffeine totally for a week at this point, so not only was I excited from just being in party mode, I was jittery from being utterly doped up. But, I got really cold when we went outside after, so I put on my velvet shirt to warm up. This was a good idea for the burn, too.

We stopped by our house first to check on Washu and leave our costumery at the house, since the cab was absolutely *packed*. The mutt was fine, but excited to see us, and didn't want to get in her cage when we were ready to leave.

So, on to the house... Jim and Jason were up talking when we got there about 2:30 (actually 3:30 with the time change), and we stood around for awhile, then decided to pop in Sleepy Hollow. Poor +Kyle really was getting tired by this time, and nodded off when Ichabod was attempting to ride a horse, and it wouldn't go where he wanted it to. S seemed rather amused by the movie, but figured most of the ending out fairly early on. Meh! :P

When it was over, neither of us was very tired, so we just sat up chatting about Johnny Depp movies (Pirates!!), which led to Disney World, and then things must have kindof deteriorated, because I don't remember much else. I guess I was more tired than I realized. I went and laid down on some bed around 6:30, but only slept about an hour. Came back into the game room and found the guys asleep on either end of the reclining couch. LOL! It was pretty cute. I should have taken a picture, but it probably would have woken them up.

I heard life upstairs, so I went up to visit with whoever was up. It was Jim. We sat outside on the kitchen balcony and talked about all kinds of things. He's from Colorado, and told me about the Red Mountain Pass (I think is what he called it), that's a 1000 ft. sheer drop, and he's seen it completely full from avalanches and regular snowfall. He told me about one year where a guy cleaning the roads had an avalanche fall on him; it swept him into the ravine, and they had to wait until July or August before all the snow melted and they could retrieve his body.

We laughed about how people in the south freak out over two inches of snow, and suddenly everyone needs snow tires and chains, and bread and milk are the first things to go. He said there's no such thing as snow days where he's from - they have hunting days, but because they take care of their roads, there's no need to close school over inclement weather.

He also talked about building his workshop and laying stone for Nancy's patio soon. I guess we sat for about an hour, then he had to go to Kingston to pick up a trench digger to lay the electrical and plumbing lines for the shop. He's hoping to have it mostly completed by next week.

I went downstairs and dug out my sketchpad to work on The Pearl Hotel series for awhile.

Much more to come...but I have only so much downtime to write...

April 04 10:50 pm
lsdiamond: (Default)
Got to work this morning to find a *most* lovely surprise... Lori had left one of the eternal roses from MedFaire on my desk. ^_^ I went back to hug and thank her, and she told me, "I believe every woman should be given a rose - especially one that lasts forever." Thank you, Lori!

We chatted about the faire for quite some time today, asking what each other had seen. (Lots and lots of skin, in her case.) LOL! There are always so many pretty people at these events.

I'm still writing about everything and will post it as new, then backdate it a couple of days later...pictures forthcoming as well!

Fallen

Mar. 25th, 2004 12:44 pm
lsdiamond: (Default)
Old news...don't bother )

Friends

Mar. 21st, 2004 07:47 pm
lsdiamond: (Default)
Took yesterday's acquisitions to Nancy this afternoon. +Kyle came with, and we stuck around for quite longer than expected, but 'twas all fun, and we had a great time. Scooter hadn't gone back to the dorms yet, so we all played pool for an hour or so. We discovered why I drift so badly (I let my arm drop a bit instead of pivoting smoothly), and a shorter stick helped with that, so I might actually get okay with it eventually. None us did very well at all, but that's okay...we had fun, and that's what it's all about.

I forgot to mention this before, but it was hilarious. I was wearing the enormous pentagram ring that Gamegod gave me at Christmas, and Scooter wanted to see it, so I took it off the chain. He looked at all the runes and lettering, and of course, tried it on. Bad tiki. LOL! It got stuck, and just wouldn't come off. He asked if it was cursed or something. +Kyle and I cracked up over it, because he's sitting here going, "It looks a lot bigger than it is! It went on real easy!" He did eventually get it off, but I don't think he'll be trying anything of mine on again for quite some time

I did bring an instant camera, and got some lovely shots of Nancy's gardens, as well as some of the boys playing a round. Also, I brought 3 CDs of miscellany as promised. Played on random in their DVD player, we wound up with some interesting tracks, including She Don't Use Jelly by The Flaming Lips, The Veteran Cosmic Rocker, by The Moody Blues, and Pachelbel's Canon by Robert Miles. +Kyle is of course horrified by much of the music I listen to, but most of what played ended up being from the radio anyway, so he only really complained about the Lips. LOL! It started playing, and he looked at the screen and said, "Oh, NASTY...not this song!" I just laughed, and watched Scooter's reaction to the girl putting Vaseline on her toast...'twas most emusing. Should have gotten a picture of that.

Nancy came in after awhile said we should stay and have dinner, so they ordered pizza from Simple Simon's. ^_^

We got the grand tour of the house. I had seen much of it on Thursday, but +Kyle was absolutely enthralled. It's a bit large for me (sooooo much to cleeeeeean!), but he thinks it's perfect. The airyness is delightful, though...lots of open spaces, even in the rooms that have a lot of things in them.

A dreadful film called Whacked! was on when we got back from picking up the 'za. We MST3Kd it somewhat, because it was just SO bad. Jim turned around at one point and said it was definitely a "C" class movie. LOL... Mike would probably like it, though.

So we're planning to get together for MedFaire. Not sure at this point whether we'll follow him up, or if we'll just meet up in Norman, but we'll see what pans out. We all want to see Hellboy, which opens that weekend, so it should be an entertaining day.




In other news, my husband is just WRONG

Also, let it be made known that cigarettes are evil. I have had an undying headache for most of the afternoon. :P Nothing can touch it, so I'm hoping sleep will fend it off.
lsdiamond: (Default)
Yesterday's mail brought a very special gift from my beloved Andrea. For the sake of sharing beauty, (and the fact that it brings tears to my eyes) I asked if I could include it in my journal, and she obliged.


March 15, 2004
Dearest Ariel,

I know it's been forever since I've actually written a "real" letter to you, but I wanted this to be something more tangible than words on a computer screen.

You do have a gift for loving, listening, and "just" Being there. If you were not in my life, there would be much missing. You make me smile & laugh & always have. I can talk to you about things I can't talk to anyone else about. I know without a doubt, you will never judge me unfairly. My soul delights in your creative works - your poems, art, drawings - as things of great beauty.

You bring out the best in me. Knowing you has helped me to reach out of my comfort zone & try new things, helped give me the courage to stand up to my parents & marry Tim, the love of my life.

Your friendship, caring, listening, encouragement - I don't have words to tell you how much they mean to me. In your dark valleys you are going through, you do have strength. The comparison to a diamond for you is very accurate - a diamond has to go through great, unbelievable pressure to become the brilliant, strong stone. I am glad for your sake that I have been struggling with depression because I can empathize with you now. Many of the statements you've made about yourself ring true with what I think in my mind about myself many times. I have a very difficult time asking for help - that is something Tim has had to deal with the whole time we've been married, and especially so since Seamus was born.

There are moments of happiness in my life of late, more and more so. One night I was tired & went to bed early, wasn't quite asleep & Tim called me from the nursery. Shay was standing up in his crib, holding onto the rail, all by himself. It was so cute & I took him out and gave him a big hug. He started wanting to play & he blew raspeberries on my arm & shoulders & was just laughing & giggling! That was the first time I had really felt any joy in many months, & there have been several such times since then.

Yours will come too, in their own way & time. God is there & does love you so much He died for you.

I am, in all my imperfect humanness, here for you, too. I love you & cherish our friendship for the priceless gift it is.

Your friend forever & your sister in Christ,

Andrea


*cry*

January 2012

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